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Saturday 30 November 2013

How Shyness Can Affect Your Love Life

Shyness can make it extremely difficult to have a love life, especially if you are so shy that you avoid any kind of social interaction. Clearly, to find a boyfriend or girlfriend, you have to actually put yourself out there and socialise. If you hide in the background in order to avoid being noticed, the chances are you will get your wish. Even though you may fantasise about finding the man or woman of your dreams, your anxiety when dealing with other people can be overwhelming and make you feel less inclined to socialise, thus reducing your chances of finding someone.

The trouble is that the longer you avoid the company of other people, the harder it becomes to come out of your shell. If you have actively avoided meeting and talking to new people for a long time, you may find it a struggle to actually talk to anyone when you finally do decide that you want to meet someone. When you're socially awkward and conscious of the fact, you dwell on all your inadequacies and imagine that other people have already formed a negative opinion of you. If you have a bad experience in the presence of others, you probably won't want to try to socialise again.

With such little confidence in yourself, it becomes a real challenge to build any kind of a love life. Confidence is an attractive attribute, but shyness can drain your confidence away, so that whenever you pluck up the courage to talk to someone of the opposite sex you are unable to find the right words. The embarrassment just gets to you and so, in future, you try to avoid putting yourself in an awkward position again, even if there is someone you are really attracted to. It is much easier to construct a love life in your head than it is to actually go up to someone and tell them how you feel and pursue a proper relationship.

Being shy doesn't have to stop you having a love life, though, as there are plenty of shy girls and boys out there just waiting to awkwardly bump into one another. Shyness can make finding love somewhat more challenging, though, because your lack of social interaction may lead you to develop unrealistic expectations about how a relationship works and what your role should be. Relationships can only flourish when there is communication between both parties, but when you're shy communicating can be a problem and you may decide to give up before even trying.

However, this is not the kind of attitude you should take if you hope to find someone to settle down with. What is needed is for you to stop putting so much pressure on yourself and to simply accept that everyone will occasionally say or do something silly and that nobody is perfect all the time. You have to let other people get to know you and try not to let anxiety win. The more you interact with people, the greater your chance of finding someone you can visualise having a relationship with, so that you won't have to go through the hassle of trying to attract someone, for awhile, at least!

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