Why is it so Hard to Trust People?

It can be difficult to trust people in an impersonal world that is characterised by the pursuit of material things. It often seems that everyone wants to be the best – to be the richest or the most successful – and will do whatever has to be done in order to get where they want to be. This can mean riding roughshod over everyone else. Of course, not everyone is ultra-ambitious, heartless and uncaring, but when you've been let down before, you can find yourself struggling to trust people, which obviously has an effect on your ability to start relationships and to keep those relationships.

People can be selfish and not everyone considers how their actions will affect those around them. Unfortunately, when you are at the receiving end of someone else's poor decisions, it can make you reluctant to try again. If you begin a relationship with someone and later discover he is only interested in you for your money, of course you're going to be more sceptical in future. How can you put your trust in someone when you have done so in the past, only to be betrayed? As they say, once bitten, twice shy, which could mean you hold back from establishing new relationships.

This is understandable, because you don't want to get hurt again, but by distancing yourself from other people and not wanting to open up to anyone, you may be depriving yourself of plenty of fulfilling relationships. You probably don't see it like this, though, as you simply dwell on all the times other people have lied to you, mistreated you, and abandoned you when you needed them most, and so you try to convince yourself that you're better off on your own. It is just too hard to trust anyone when the people in your life seem to be so vindictive.

It only takes one bad relationship for you to start to question the quality of your other relationships. When you have been treated badly by one person, you may begin to wonder what other people's motivations are for wanting to be your friend or lover. You may want to see the best in people, but they don't always make it easy for you. When they say they're going to do one thing and end up doing another or fail to assist you when you really need their help, you may simply come to the conclusion that it is not worth your time or energy to maintain the relationships in your life when you seem to get so little out of them, other than sorrow.