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Sunday 29 December 2013

When Should You End a Relationship?

There is never a good time to end a relationship, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and end it for the sake of your own mental well-being. Of course, there may be a difference between ending a brief fling with someone you met on holiday and deciding to divorce your husband of over 30 years, but at the end of the day you still have to reach a decision. Often, it's easier to simply drift along in a relationship, because it means you don't have to do anything. Change can be a scary prospect, and so it's easier to stay in a particular situation, because you can't predict what will happen if you finally face up to the fact you are not happy being in your present relationship.

Usually, there comes a point in your life when you start to re-evaluate your goals and think about what it is you want from life. There are a variety of options to choose from, whether you want to get married and have kids; focus on your career; move out of the fast-paced city environment or leave behind laid-back country life. It might be that you have started taking evening classes or taken up a hobby that has enabled you to interact with a different set of people. Nobody stays exactly the same and the bond you once had with your partner may change over time if you don't communicate and end up drifting apart. You may find that you simply want different things.

It may be the case that the love is no longer there. Love is unquantifiable and it is hard to explain exactly what it is, but when you're no longer in love it can be difficult to tolerate the imperfections that, at one time, you found endearing. This can lead to silly arguments, because you end up venting your frustrations and taking it out on someone who may not have a clue what is going on in your mind. When you're not feeling content with the person you go home to in the evenings, it might be tempting to look elsewhere for comfort. Everyone wants to feel wanted and there is a degree of excitement associated with starting an affair and getting to know someone without having to commit yourself one way or the other.

Eventually, though, there reaches a point where the arguments are increasingly frequent or your affair becomes more serious and you have to decide whether the relationship you're in is really worth working on, or whether you would be better off on your own or with someone else. Obviously, certain factors can complicate matters, especially if you have children and a house together. In the past, couples would often stay together for the sake of the children, but even though that sounds sensible, in theory; the reality is that both individuals can end up miserable, which can actually have a negative impact on kids. Ultimately, you have to decide what it is you want from life and whether your partner is the person you want to share life experiences with or whether you would be happier removing yourself from the situation and entering a different one.

Friday 27 December 2013

Why are People Fed up With Politicians?

Why are people fed up with politicians? It's not a difficult question to anwswer is it? They lie, cheat and do whatever they want and the rules that apply to us mere mortals appear not to apply to them. Politicians are supposed to represent the interests of the people who vote for them in the national legislature, but the reality is that they form an elite club and they only seem to care about themselves and others who belong to their set. There may be the occasional idealist, fighting for the working man and woman, but the majority of politicians are more interested in being seen to have power and influence, and using that power to help cement their position at the top of society.

The number of people voting has declined over the years and politicians will point to general apathy. Is it really apathy, though, or just realism? In the UK, the first-past-the-post system means that unless you live in a marginal seat, your vote barely counts for anything. So, you end up with either a Conservative or a Labour government, or on occasion a hung parliament and the need for a coalition. The Liberal Democrats conveniently seem to swing both ways. At the end of the day, who can tell the difference between the parties anyway? They've all moved towards the centre, so that there is very little to distinguish between them, and whoever is in power generally makes a mess of things.

It's all about posturing and grand gestures instead of what would actually make the country a better place to live. Everything worth anything has been privatised in the UK and we're continually told that competition is good; that it benefits the consumer, despite the fact that there is little evidence to support this claim. What can ordinary people do to vent their anger? They can whinge to their friends and family and moan on various social networking sites, but that won't change anything. Of course, they can vote and help to elect another government, yet will that alter anything? It will hardly make a difference. Politicians appear to be devoid of integrity. They simply chase votes, and do whatever they can to annoy the other parties.

Parliament is composed largely of white, middle-aged, privately-educated men who are supposed to represent the views and opinions of an extremely diverse nation. They get paid a large salary and receive other perks, and proclaim that if you want the best you have to pay well. Well, of course, they would say that wouldn't they? Who has decided they are the best, though? So, a politician went to Eton, then Cambridge and fell into a job in politics because his daddy has the right connections. He hasn't had to work his way up and see what it's like to struggle, has he? The chances are that he got where he is because of luck and knowing the right people more than anything else.

Politicians say whatever they can to get elected, then renege on their commitments. They have no sense of shame as they cut people's benefits and denigrate 'scroungers' whilst awarding themselves huge pay rises for turning up and doing the bare minimum of work. Maybe some of them got into politics for the right reasons and wanted to improve their country, but in most cases it seems that they're there for the glory and to help others within their own social circle, rather than the country as a whole. Although people may be fed up with politicians and angry, there don't seem to be any other satisfactory alternatives and a sense of powerlessness means that people, in the UK at least, don't really see a point in trying to change the situation.

Tuesday 24 December 2013

Why Change can be Good

If change is so good for you, why do so many people resist it? Well, change can be good, but it can also be a hassle. Even though you may loathe your job, at least you have security, but if you decided to change your job you have to update your CV, start looking around at the other jobs available and apply to different positions. You might be successful, then have to attend an interview or several and you may even secure a new job, but for all you know you could end up hating that as much as your old job. It is therefore easier to simply accept your situation, even if there is the potential to actually improve your life.

Just look at how many people are unhappy in a relationship, yet they continue to stick with it. Again, it's a case of 'better the devil you know than the devil you don't.' If you leave your partner, you don't know what might happen and that is a scary prospect. Friends may abandon you; you might end up fighting with your former partner over the custody of your pets or children or about who gets the house; you could end up struggling financially. Plus, you could end up alone, and even if you argue with your partner frequently, at least there is someone who's there for you.

There are other changes you can make to your life, such as moving to a different place - whether house, city or country - or changing the way you live your life - avoiding clubbing and alcohol and becoming more health conscious, so that you eat less junk food, exercise regularly and adopt a healthier lifestyle in general. Clearly, moving gives you new and exciting opportunities, as you can meet people, find a different job and improve your prospects. Changing your lifestyle can also have benefits, enabling you to extend your life and feel better in yourself. Yet, to embrace change requires motivation.

Where does this motivation come from? Often the motivation to change comes as a result of an unexpected event. It could be that you're forced to change your lifestyle after suffering from health problems, or to move to a new town because you have lost your job. You may be happy with the job you have, only for a new manager to be appointed who you don't get along with, or your circumstances may change so that you need more money and, thus, a new job. Sometimes, people realise they're stuck in a situation that's making them unhappy and decide to set a date for them to get their act together.

Obviously, many people choose to make New Year's resolutions, because they want to change, but need some kind of impetus. You know you're not alone in wanting to make a change during the New Year, and if you fail, you know there are also others in a similar position to yourself. Change can be good, but finding the motivation to change can be more challenging, especially when you don't know what the outcome will be. Sometimes, it's easier to just stick with the familiar, even if you don't find it to be completely satisfying.

Saturday 21 December 2013

The Importance of Loving Yourself

Loving yourself has nothing to do with narcissism (in most cases!) It is important to love yourself, because the alternative is to be indifferent or to hate yourself, which clearly isn't beneficial to anyone. If you don't love yourself, what difference does it make what you eat, whether you exercise, how you dress or who you associate with? If you don't care about your well-being, you could end up drinking too much, taking drugs, sleeping around, eating junk food, and engaging in behaviour which could be damaging in the long run. If you don't love yourself, it's hard to project yourself to the rest of the world in the way you want to, which can have a bearing on your self-esteem and confidence levels.

Indeed, if you don't love yourself, this could be because you are suffering from low self-esteem. This can be caused by your interactions with others. If you've been bullied or undermined in some way, especially over a period of time, this can affect the way you see yourself. If someone continually tells you that you're ugly, fat and worthless, there is a chance you will eventually come to believe it, especially if you're a negative person to begin with. Instead of shaking off other people's nasty words, you can find yourself internalising them and engaging in activities which could only exacerbate the problem. For instance, it's not unusual to hear of overweight individuals turning to food for comfort, which can lead to further weight gain.

Ultimately, you only have one body and one mind. It's up to you to look after yourself and you can only do that if you actually care about your own health and well-being. If you have low self-esteem you may convince yourself that you're not worth the effort, but even if you have others in your life who love you, it is impossible to be around people all the time. You can't escape your own mind, though, and so you have to deal with the thoughts and feelings you have every minute of the day. Thus, it's better to love rather than loathe yourself.

Plus, if you want to build relationships with other people, whether platonic or romantic, it definitely helps to love yourself. It's better than looking for affirmation from other people, especially if it is not forthcoming. If you can't love yourself it will be hard for you to accept that anyone else can love you anyway. Loving yourself won't make your life perfect, but it will make it easier to enjoy the highs and deal with the lows that life brings.

Thursday 19 December 2013

Good Reasons to Put Your Phone Down

Not so long ago, it was relatively rare for anyone to own a mobile phone. Everyone remembers those images of eighties' yuppies with giant brick-like contraptions in their hand. However, mobiles really caught on in the nineties as the size of handsets shrunk and their cost came down. During this time, most people looked at mobile phones as being useful in an emergency. If you had a breakdown on the motorway or some kind of accident, you could easily get in contact with someone. It didn't take long to realise the mobile could be used for other purposes, such as texting, though, so that you could now stay in contact with someone without the hassle of actually having to speak. The functionality of phones has continued to improve over the years, and they can do so much more.

Indeed, today's smartphones enable you to listen to music, chat in 'real time,' take pictures and video footage, play games and download an assortment of different programmes and applications. Thus, it isn't unusual to see people walking around in a zombified state, with their mobiles in their hand, texting or playing games. In some ways, this technological leap has been beneficial. After all, it is much easier to interact with other people and to stay in touch. It is easier to order goods and services on the move and to enjoy the entertainment that's on offer, such as music, films and games. Sometimes, it's good to escape during your lunchbreak or on your daily commute by messing around on your phone.

However, it could be said that even though smartphones and more basic kinds of phone enable individuals to stay in touch, people make less effort with people in real life as a result. It's easy to send a text to someone, but what about real-life interaction? At the end of the day, online interaction isn't quite as satisying as the real thing and if you come to rely too heavily on texting as your main form of communication, it may be tougher to adapt to real-life social situations, especially if you're shy to begin with. Owning a phone that does everything means you don't have to look up and if you're shy it may be easier to keep hiding behind your online persona.

You might actually miss out something, because you're so busy looking at your phone that you don't bother to pay attention to how you're feeling. Often, at live gigs, people end up spending their whole time fliming the event, instead of taking the time to appreciate the atmosphere and, ultimately, the images you see on screen are nothing compared to actually being there. It can also be dangerous, because there are people who use their phones when they're walking along or driving and if you're playing with your phone instead of concentrating on what you should be doing, you could walk into other people or walk into the road, and if you're in a car you could end up knocking someone over or off their bike.

Clearly, there are distinct advantages of having a phone that is multi-functional, but there is a real world out there, too. Phones can enhance your life, but if your whole life revolves around them, there is a problem. Whilst in the past, mobiles were for emergency purposes only, so you could contact someone if you were in desperate need; these days it is almost impossible to escape from other people and you're considered odd if you don't have a phone that does everything and choose not to text people every few hours. It isn't always a bad thing to swim against the tide, though!


Tuesday 17 December 2013

The Problem With Deciding You Need a Fresh Start

The main problem with deciding you need a fresh start is that although it seems like a tempting option, the reality is you cannot completely leave behind the person you are and the problems you are having. If you're single, lonely and unemployed, simply telling yourself it's time for a fresh start is not enough. It is important to make an effort if you really want the situation to change, but even if you revamp your CV, take up a hobby and sign up to dating sites, there are no guarantees that anything in your life will change. Unfortunately, when you make a big song and dance about making a fresh start, you only end up disappointed when nothing really changes and you feel even worse if other people know you've failed.

There is nothing wrong with deciding that there are features of your life that could do with improving, but it is worth geting away from the idea of a completely fresh start. It isn't unusual for individuals to get away from it all and move somewhere far away in an attempt to make a fresh start. However, if you decide to do this, you could find yourself alone and without anyone to turn to when you could really do with some support. It can be hard to meet new people and make friends as you get older and you may end up isolated and full of regret, wishing that you'd stayed where you were. That isn't always the case. Some people move and know what they're doing, have a renewed sense of purpose in life and quickly make friends.

Change can be good. If you've lived in the city for a long time and you're fed up with all the hassles associated with big-city living, you may find moving to the countryside is desirable. There is always the chance you may find it dull, but sometimes it is worth taking the risk. Ultimately, you should have a better idea of what you want out of life than anyone else and if you're not happy with the way things are going, only you can change the situation. At the end of the day, though, 'escaping' isn't always enough. Even if you remove yourself from a particular situation, you cannot erase all the experiences, thoughts and connections you have had.

If you're in debt and want to make a fresh start, thus deciding to get a new job and start spending less, putting some money aside to pay off your loans and other financial commitments, you have to prepare yourself for the fact it isn't going to happen overnight. It may be that you're stuck in an unhappy relationship. You can leave, but at the same time if you have a house together and a family, you cannot completely remove that person from your life with a snap of your fingers. At the end of the day, life is complicated and although it is tempting to believe you can separate the past from the present, move on and make a fresh start, unfortunately, in most cases life just continues onwards, even if you do make a few adjustments to the direction you're heading.

Monday 16 December 2013

The Problem With Being Indecisive

Indecisiveness can hardly be considered a positive character trait, because if you are unable to make a decision and stick with it, you generally find yourself drifting along in a sea of uncertainty. You can frame indecisiveness in a positive light by saying that it is a good thing to take your time to weigh up the pros and cons before making a decision. However, that is exactly the point, because you do have to reach a decision, eventually, and choose which option is preferable. It could be something as trivial and, in the grand scheme of things, unimportant as choosing what to wear to a party or it could be something as important as what to study at university and which career path to take.

This is when indecisiveness can become a problem, because you think you know what you want, then you do some reading or come across other information and suddenly you're no longer certain. Consequently, you can end up wasting your time, or it might be that you make a decision, only to quickly change your mind again, thus finding yourself stuck in a position you're unhappy with. You may decide you want to study a certain subject at a particular university only to find yourself swayed by the arguments of others who think that a different subject or university would suit you better. Really, you should know yourself better than anyone else, but even when you take a good hard look at the person you are, sometimes it's hard to know what you actually want in life.

If this is the case, you may end up drifting from course to course or job to job, never really feeling completely satisfied, because you just can't decide what you want. It is tempting to hope that you can keep floating along until one day, out of the blue, something happens and your whole life changes. Suddenly, somebody offers you a high-paying job in a competitive, exciting industry; you meet the man or woman of your dreams and settle down and have children, or not, as the case may be. It doesn't work like that, though. If you want a particular career, you have to be prepared to fight for it and that means believing in yourself and your decisions, rather than vacillating and always wondering whether you're made the right choice.

The same goes for your personal life. You can keep wishing that one day you're going to bump into someone who you will want to settle down with, or you could join dating sites or make an effort to put yourself into situations where you're likely to meet someone. However, you still have to make decisions - do you want to get involved in a long-term relationship? Do you want to get married? Do you want to have children? If you're uncertain about what you want, it's not really fair to drag someone else along for the ride. Mind you, if you find someone who is also indecisive, you can bumble along together in your own particular way! Indecisiveness is not your friend, because it is so easy to keep putting off living and to avoid committing yourself to anything, even though doing so is not in your best interests.

Sunday 15 December 2013

Can Being Introverted Hold You Back in the Workplace?

Introverted individuals are those who do not crave the company of others. Usually, they're quite happy to be left alone with their thoughts and to focus on doing their own thing. You would think that this would be of benefit to a workplace environment. Often, introverts are creative, good problem solvers and industrious. However, overall, it appears that this is an extrovert's world. The education system is geared more towards individuals who are loud, outgoing and confident. If a child is reserved and barely says a word, this is regarded as a negative, and so it continues through an individual's adolescence and adulthood. Whether you're an introvert or extrovert will affect your relationship and career choices, and it isn't something you can change.

There are some introverts who can put on a facade of being extrovert, but usually this is only for a short period of time. Introverts generally find that being thrown into social situations is a rather draining experience. Clearly, this can have a detrimental impact on your career prospects and hold you back in the workplace. In order to get a job, you first have to attend an interview and blow your own trumpet, telling your interviewer about how good you are working as part of a team and that you're a people person. However, if you're not a very good liar, it can be rather challenging to sell this to a potential employer. Plus, if you do get the job, you then have to actually deal with people on a daily basis.

Obviously, how successful you are will depend on the kind of job you choose. If you decide on a career where your introversion is an asset rather than a liability, such as in the creative field, the chances are you will be able to progress. If, however, your job requires you to interact with lots of people and to sell your ideas to other individiuals, it may be more difficult and when promotion time comes around, you may find that you're always the one that is overlooked. The situation isn't fair, but extroverts are able to convince people of their superior people skills, even if the reality is that they just talk a lot of hot air. Introverts are less inclined to put forward their views, even if the points they want to make are relevant.

Ultimately, this is a competitive world and everyone is fighting for something - whether it's status, money, or power - and quite often it is extroverts that are deemed more successful. There are plenty of successful introverts, but you are less likely to know about their success, anyway, because they tend to keep themselves to themselves and avoid frivolous chatter. On the filp side, being an extrovert doesn't automatically lead to success, although extroverts may be better at portraying themselves as more successful than they really are based on a narrow range of criteria that they equate with success. It seems that being introverted does limit your career choices and can hold you back in the workplace, but that doesn't necessarily have to be the case.

Saturday 14 December 2013

Is it Possible to Have a Fresh Start?

When life gets on top of you, it is tempting to think you can take a break from everything and start afresh. It is why so many people make New Year's resolutions. There is this idea that a new year is the ideal time to make a fresh start. You commit yourself to the idea of losing weight, changing jobs, getting fitter, finding a relationship or some other significant change which will have a bearing on your life. There is nothing wrong with deciding to do something that could improve your situation, but look at how many people fail to achieve their objectives. By the time it's February the motivation to stick to a diet or hunt for a new job wanes and, generally, the inclination is to give up.

Not everyone waits until the New Year to make a fresh start, but whatever time of year is chosen, there is a belief that you can almost break from the past. However, if you've struggled with your weight all your life, dieting one minute and overindulging the next, what are the chances that this time is going to be any different? You can't just erase what went before. That doesn't mean you can't achieve success, but when you look at weight loss, many people lose weight only to gain it back again. Unless you do something to fundamentally address your lifestyle and the way you see yourself, deciding that you need a fresh start is unlikely to lead to success.

Making a fresh start doesn't have to relate to your weight or appearance. It might be that you want to escape - to move somewhere else and find a new job; to socialise more and meet new people. If you're not happy with the person you are, getting out of town may give you an opportunity to change, but there are certain aspects of yourself that are immutable. If you're an introvert, you're not suddenly going to turn into an extrovert and seek out human companionship. You may not be happy that you're perceived as a loner, but if it feels that mixing with other people is more hassle than it's worth, then it's going to be impossible to find the motivation to change.

Leaving home gives you an opportunity to establish yourself as someone different, but you can never really escape your past. It might be possible to designate the changes you make in your life as a 'fresh start,' but in most cases you can't just completely overhaul your life without carrying some baggage with you. You can change the scenery and your friends, but you're still shaped by events in your life and the people you've come into contact with. It's not as though you can erase all your memories and thoughts and start from scratch. However, if you're unhappy with your situation, it is surely better to attempt to make changes to your life than to continue feeling miserable, even if it isn't a completely fresh start.

Thursday 12 December 2013

Why Are People so Dismissive of Online Friendship?

What is friendship? A friend ought to be someone you can trust who will be there for you through the good times and the bad; someone you can confide in and turn to when you need support. You meet people throughout the course of your life and some people you click with and some people you don't; some people you maintain contact with and others you forget about. It depends on the kind of person you are - whether you make friends easily, the size of your friendship group, how often you meet new people. If you're introverted and don't have many opportunities to meet people, you may only have a small group of friends, but they become people that you very much value.

The widespread use of the Internet and technological advances mean that it is much easier to connect with people throughout the world; to interact with individuals with similar interests and stay in touch with people in your 'real' life. Unfortunately, there is still a degree of scepticism over whether online friendship is 'real.' With 'real' friends, you can meet up and discuss what's going on in your life and just hang out. With online 'friends' your interaction can consist solely of emails and how do you even know the person you're talking to is really who you think? It is easy to create a fake profile and send pictures that don't belong to you, and yet there are people still willing to invest time into online friendships and relationships.

Even though there are plenty of stories of lies and deceit, there are also numerous stories of people who have found real, meaningful friendship over the Internet. Plus, more people are turning to video chat so that, visually, they know who they are talking to, and it isn't all that different from chatting to 'real-life' friends and, indeed, there are people who keep their friendships and relationships going with the help of Skype. Thus, just because you've connected with someone online doesn't make your friendship any less valid and, clearly, there has to be something keeping you talking. One thing that seems to keep 'real-life' friendships going is proximity, so that even if you don't have much in common, you still have something to talk about.

Usually 'virtual' friendships come about because you have specifically sought out someone with similar thoughts and interests. You can't take for granted online friends, because one of the downsides of online interaction is its transient nature. If one online friend takes months to reply, there may be less willingness on the other side to respond promptly and once you get out of the habit of sending messages and interacting regularly there is no longer a friendship. However, maybe it is less traumatic to lose an online friend compared to a real-life friend, because you're not as aware of it and there isn't quite the same level of emotional investment or attachment. That is probably one of the main reasons why people are so dismissive of online friendship, and yet there are many people who make friends online in the hopes that their online pal will one day become a real-life friend.

Wednesday 11 December 2013

The Isolation of Working From Home

Most people, if asked, would jump at the chance to work from home. It seems a much more convenient option than having to go into an office to earn a living. You don't have to dress smartly or deal with awkward clients or colleagues. However, there are also downsides of working from home, including how isolating it can be. If you're extremely busy with your work, you may not notice it at first, but if work slows down or you don't plan your time effectively, you can become aware of just how alone you are. When you work alongside other people, there are others to talk to and share your difficulties and frustrations with, which isn't the case when you work from home alone.

When you work in an office, you have a manager you need to report to and an established role and certain expectations that need to be met. If it's just you, working by yourself, it is important to be extremely self-motivated and to know what you want to achieve, as otherwise you won't get any work done. If you have chosen to work from home because you feel anxious around others, this will not help you deal with your anxiety issues and may only exacerbate them. If you've chosen to work from home, because you have a young family and want to balance work with raising your children, you may find it difficult to give everything to both areas of your life.

Even if you have a family, working from home can still be isolating, especially if you are around children all day and do not have any interaction with other adults. Thus, if you decide to work from home and want to avoid becoming too isolated, it is important to set aside time to meet up with friends and get out of the house. If you don't have many friends, it might be worth joining clubs and groups that will enable you to do so. Of course, there is always online interaction. Sometimes, when you're feeling lonely, you can end up in a chat room or on a forum talking away to like-minded individuals, though, ultimately, online interaction isn't quite the same as forming real-life relationships.

If you're introspective and prefer your own company, working from home may be ideal for you and the prospect of isolation a distant one. Everyone has different career objectives and different characteristics which determine how able you are able to work from home, how successful you are likely to be, how fulfilling you find it and whether you stick with it or end up looking for a job where there is the opportunity to interact more with others.

Tuesday 10 December 2013

Being Alone Versus Loneliness

There seems to be an assumption that if you are alone, it automatically means you are lonely. This becomes particularly apparent during the festive season when you are bombarded with advertisements for various charities. There is a tendency to focus on all the poor, sad, lonely old folk who have nobody to celebrate Christmas with. Undoubtedly, there are individuals who do feel isolated and lonely, but it isn't just old people, and why does this only seem to matter at Christmas? Well, of course, at the same time these charitable ads are on, there are also numerous ads featuring big, happy families with everyone smiling and enjoying their Christmas dinner being shown, just to rub it in.

These ads never show the reality of Christmas Day. They never show the arguments in the build-up to Christmas over how much to spend on presents; who's cooking dinner; and where people are spending Christmas. They never show the boredom or disappointment on people's faces on Christmas Day. Why would they? They are there to sell products, but if you are lonely, it is easy to be taken in by these romanticised images of family life and togetherness. However, for many people being alone is, in general, actually preferable to being with others.

The trouble is that, in this society, you are judged negatively for not always wanting to go out and for not wanting to get drunk and socialise. It is as if you are either a creature to be pitied or a miserly, irritable outcast. It might be unfair, but it can end up reminding you why seeking out human contact isn't always worth the effort. It isn't unusual for people to turn to their pets for warmth and comfort, as animals don't judge you and are loyal. You don't have to deal with backstabbing, gossip and being ignored. Some people don't even need the company of pets. For other people, it is literature, music and film that keeps them occupied, whether they simply apreciate it or whether they have a creative mind and work on their own projects.

Just because you don't crave the company of other people and are considered to be alone doesn't mean you're lonely, but it is the pitying expressions of other people and the overall expectation that you should want to be around others can make you start to wonder whether you're missing out on something. It is this which can have a more negative impact on your well-being, because then you start to question yourself and whether you're normal, even though everybody is different. Unfortuantely, it appears that society simply has a harder time accepting introverted personalities than those of out-and-out extroverts.

Thursday 5 December 2013

Why is Technology so Annoying?

Technology may play a vital role in our day-to-day lives, but that isn't necessarily a good thing. Instead of talking to people face-to-face, more and more of us our drawn into a situation where we are less likely to go out with friends than we are to stay indoors, texting and emailing those closest to us. Children born today will be unable to remember a time when there was no Internet or 24/7 communication. For them, it is completely normal to live their lives online. It's hardly healthy, though, is it? There has to be more to life than computers and owning the latest technology, surely?

Even more annoying is the fact that once you've become hooked on technology, it often lets you down. Whilst once upon a time we were prepared to put up with dial-up modems and accepted that if you wanted to access the Internet, you had to be patient; these days even the fastest broadband connection is not fast enough. Then, there are those occasions when you really need to access your emails, but the host website is down, and if you work from home and need to contact a client, it can set you off into a panic. Sometimes, the Internet is not accessible at all, and you can feel kind of cut off from the outside world.

Of course, technology does have its benefits, but we've all become so used to what technology has to offer us that it's hard, even for us born pre-Internet, to remember what life used to be like when you couldn't access someone all day and all night and communicate with people all over the world for little cost and with ease. It makes you all the more aware of just how dependent you are on technology when it lets you down and you're left wondering how on earth you're going to cope.

Tuesday 3 December 2013

Should Financial Incentives be Used to Encourage People to Lose Weight?

The issue of obesity is one that has been perplexing governments across the globe for a considerable period of time, as people continue to get heavier. The trouble is that being overweight can lead to health problems that force individuals to use health services and which may prevent them from working, and thus contributing to the economy through taxation. Clearly, if the majority of a population is overweight, then a great deal of pressure is placed on health services and this costs money, which is why politicians and health officials have been considering ways to encourage people to address their weight.

The idea is to encourage people to lose weight before they start developing serious health problems and gain so much weight that it is going to take a long time to get back to a healthier size. Of course, preventative measures cost money, too, but it is believed that by encouraging people to lose weight sooner rather than later, money and lives will be saved in the long run. Surely, nobody wants to be fat, so why is it so difficult to get people to lose weight? Well, for a start, losing weight isn’t easy. It takes patience and commitment, which are qualities that not everyone possesses. Plus, people’s lifestyles, today, can make weight loss even more trying. Individuals are working long, stressful hours and relying on convenience meals, fast food, and high-calorie snacks for sustenance.

Unfortunately, to lose weight you have to control your calorie intake and balance it out against your estimated calorie expenditure. If you lead an active lifestyle, you can get away with consuming more calories, but most people don’t. Consequently, if you’re overweight and trying to lose a few pounds, you have to change your eating and exercise habits, but it is difficult to change the way you do things, because everyone has a tendency to stick to what they’re familiar with. So, would financial incentives really encourage people to lose weight? Although there may be some people who are not bothered about being overweight, most people in that situation would prefer to be slim, but just find it such a challenge that they ignore it for as long as possible.

It is therefore difficult to see how offering financial incentives would get people to lose weight in the long run. Of course, in the beginning, the possibility of earning cash for losing weight might encourage people to address their weight. It seems like an easy way to earn money and there is nothing to lose, so why not give it a try? When you’re losing weight at the start and given some kind of financial reward, it is less of a struggle to find the motivation. In the long run, though, you have to want to lose weight for your own sake, not just because you can earn money. There won’t always be a financial incentive there for you to control your weight and so offering cash to encourage people to lose weight is hardly likely to have much impact on obesity rates.

Essential Eating Habits for Weight Loss

It isn’t difficult to understand that to achieve weight loss, you have to consume fewer calories than you burn. Consequently, you have to change your eating habits to reduce the number of calories you consume on a daily basis. It is also worthwhile increasing the amount of exercise you do in order to burn more calories as well. In terms of your diet, you’re better off taking a long-term approach and incorporating sensible eating habits into your life, rather than looking for a quick fix. Although fad diets can help you lose weight quickly, the chances are you won’t be able to keep it off.

So, what exactly are sensible eating habits to have? Well, clearly, it is worth avoiding junk food, such as chocolate, cakes, biscuits and crisps, since these kinds of food do not contain any real nutritional value. If you snack regularly on these types of food, it will become extremely difficult to lose weight. You also don’t want to replace your meals with snack foods, as your body won’t be getting the nutrients it needs, whilst you will feel hungry all the time. You will probably end up eating more junk food and increasing your calorie intake as a result.

It is worth trying to have set meal times, so that you eat at regular intervals. That way, your body will get used to being fed at particular times and you will be less inclined to reach for snack foods to keep you going. If you do have to eat on the go, it is a good idea to think ahead and take a packed lunch with you, so that you don’t get tempted to buy junk food. Eating regularly will keep your energy levels up and help you to avoid feeling so hungry that you end up bingeing on rubbish.

As well as eating the right kinds of food to lose weight, you also need to bear in mind the quantity of food you are eating. Even healthy foods contain calories and if you gorge yourself on fruit, you could still end up consuming more calories than your body needs. To lose a pound in weight, you have to burn 3,500 more calories you consume, which means every day of the week you must consume 500 fewer calories than you use. If you fill your plate with food at meal times, this could be harder to achieve. Since you may have a distorted idea of an acceptable portion size, it is always a good idea to weigh your food out in the beginning; until you’re more familiar with how much food you need.

Losing weight can be a challenge, but if you embrace healthier eating habits that help you to reduce your calorie intake, you should be able to reach your weight-loss goal in time.

Essential Exercise Habits for Weight Loss

If you’re serious about losing weight, it is important that you not only make changes to your diet; but that you also introduce exercise into your routine. Often, weight gain is the result of eating too much junk food and not doing enough exercise to burn off the excess calories. Thus to redress the balance, you have to start consuming fewer calories whilst making an effort to burn more. The most important thing is to make exercise a regular part of your life. There is no point joining a gym, using it once or twice, then quitting, as this will not be of any benefit to you.

Consequently, you need to find some activities you can do if not every day, then at least every other day. Walking is always a good activity to start with, especially if you’re not very fit, because it is a low-impact activity and doesn’t require any training or specialist equipment. You obviously want to feel comfortable whilst walking, so it may be worth investing in a decent pair of trainers and choosing loose-fitting clothes, but other than that, walking should be an activity that you can easily slot into your day. Of course, the further you walk and the faster you move; the more calories you burn.

There are plenty of other activities you can do. You may enjoy swimming or prefer a team sport, such as football, rugby, netball or cricket. You might decide to take up running, as this is a very effective way to burn calories. It is a lot more intensive than walking and can put quite a lot of strain on your joints, which can be tough if you’re carrying extra weight, but it may be worth persevering with. If running takes too much out of you, then cycling is a good option, as it is another low-impact sport and is also an effective way to burn calories.

It may be advisable to start lifting weights, as well, since building muscle in place of fat can help to increase your metabolism and thus burn more calories. Whatever sport or activity you decide to do, the main thing is that you do it regularly, preferably five days a week, for at least half an hour, and so that you’re left feeling out of breath. Clearly, if you want to improve your fitness, you have to push yourself, which may not be comfortable at first, but will ultimately yield more results than simply plodding along. When your main aim is losing weight, though, you should be careful not to consume more calories because you feel you deserve an extra ‘treat’ for working so hard, as this may undermine your weight-loss success.

Should More Women be Encouraged to Enter Politics?

The political domain has always been dominated by men, but the idea that this is how it should be has been increasingly challenged by the media and by wider society. It hardly seems fair that in a country where, in numerical terms, men and women are more-or-less equal there are far more men in parliament than women. Why should that be so when, ostensibly, males and females have equal access to education and the same opportunities? It is either the case that women are opting not to enter the world of politics or otherwise their sex is somehow holding them back.

In some countries, such as Sweden, there have been attempts to implement quotas to increase the number of female politicians. Is it really that important that there are female more representatives at the higher echelons of society? After all, does a person’s sex have a perceptible influence on how they believe a country should be run? Surely, individuals, regardless of whether they are male or female, have different life experiences that shape the way they think and feel. Unfortunately, it often seems that the men and women who end up as politicians come from a similar background of private education, university and high-flying jobs.

It could therefore be argued that it doesn’t really matter whether politicians are male or female, since they mostly subscribe to the same world-view, anyway. Of course, it would be quite good to see the political balance redressed in terms of men and women, but the chances are even with more women in parliament, the same ridiculous decisions will be made! Simply recruiting more women isn’t going to improve the calibre of politician or make politicians act in the best of interests of the people they purport to represent. Focusing on gender as a major issue detracts from the fact that social mobility is at a very low level and that parliament is not representative of society.

When everyone has a similar kind of education and upbringing, they all tend to see things in the same way and there is no one to challenge them and put forward different ideas. It is this which makes politics stale and inhibits innovation and change, rather than the fact that parliament is dominated by men per se. To reach a situation where there is a more diverse mix of politicians, political parties are going to have to make more of an effort to recruit wider and foster talent, instead of always choosing the seemingly safe option.

Are Skinny Women Really More Attractive?

It seems like such a stupid question to ask – are skinny women more attractive than women who are believed to be overweight? After all, when exactly do you class a woman as skinny or fat? Two women can weigh the same, but be different heights and shapes, and dress differently, so it might be hard to tell. Plus, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Although there are men who are attracted to skinny women, there are also men who prefer curvier women. The trouble is that when you’re continually exposed to the notion that skinny is good and overweight is bad, you can find yourself believing that the only way to be considered attractive is to be skinny.

This is a celebrity-obsessed society and you rarely see anyone in the spotlight looking less than perfect, unless they are coming in for ridicule. On the odd occasion a celebrity might have put on a few pounds, they will be castigated for it, with the most unflattering pictures published and critical words used against them. Although these individuals are paid huge amounts of money to present themselves in a certain way, reading these kinds of stories has an impact on ordinary individuals, too. You may be an ordinary woman who leads a busy life, with a full-time job and kids to feed. You may not have hours to spend in the gym, yet you feel a certain pressure to stay slim.

It isn’t only women who are affected by such images, since men are also exposed to the idea that skinny women are most desirable and that being overweight is bad. This can affect the way they behave around women, since it is perhaps less socially acceptable to be with women over a certain size. When a woman is overweight she may be the subject of teasing and name-calling and not all men are able to cope with that. It is perfectly possible to be overweight and attractive; you don’t have to be skinny to be considered pretty. At the end of the day, there is more to a person than the way they look and why would you want to be with someone who likes you simply because you’re thin?

The only trouble is that it is hard to be satisfied with the way you look when you’re continually comparing yourself to other women, especially women whose job depends on them being slim and fitting a particular mould. Wider society seems to want to impose on us the idea that being fat is bad and being slim is good, and we’re always being told how obesity rates are going to cripple the economy and health services. This clearly has an impact on how you see yourself, in terms of weight and size. Although being skinny or fat may not determine your attractiveness, it can impact your confidence, and if you don’t like what you see when you look in the mirror, this can influence how you present yourself to other people.

Why do People Create Fake Identities Online?

There are so many ways to connect with people online these days and it is extremely easy to do. Just look at how many different social media sites there are where you can make friends, share information about yourself and learn about others. Unfortunately, you don’t always know that what you’re being told is the complete truth. If all you have to go by is a picture and the other person’s word, then how do you know what you’re being told is accurate? Some people seem to get a perverse pleasure out of creating alter-egos where they can lead the kind of lives that others are likely to envy, despite the fact that everything they say is fabricated.

Although the Internet has made it easier for people to connect, these connections are often tenuous and transient. You pick up an online pal, chat a few times using instant messenger, and then never hear from them again. You soon get used to it, but sometimes you feel as though you’ve really clicked with someone. You find that you have similar interests and a similar outlook on the world and you want to get to know them better. However, usually these are the very people who live too far away for you to just meet, and so you may have to talk on the phone or continue communicating online for a period of time, which can be fulfilling to a certain degree, but it’s not quite the same as having an actual face-to-face conversation.

Nowadays, most people have access to a webcam and so you can see for yourself if the person you’ve been talking to is who they purport to be, but even then you don’t know whether they’re hiding something. It could be that they are married or have children or that they have something in their past that they’ve decided to keep hidden. They may have told you that they have a better job than they do or that they live somewhere they don’t. Of course, people lie in their day-to-day lives as well, so you can never really be certain of how truthful the individuals you meet are being. The trouble is that it is much easier to keep up the pretence and to continue lying online than it is in person.

So, why do people create fake identities online? It gives them a certain degree of anonymity – they can say what they want without worrying it might come back to haunt them; it enables them to portray themselves as the individuals they’d like to be rather than who they are; they may simply get enjoyment out of attracting people with their lies, luring them in then letting them down. It may be that they’re insecure about the way they look or some other aspect of their life and so want to be able to attract someone, regardless of how they do so. In the end, though, this is hardly likely to end on a positive note. Clearly, if you build a relationship online with someone that’s based on a pack of lies it is hard to imagine that anything is going to come of it in the real, offline world.

Is it Wrong to Marry a Man for his Money?

Everyone has their own set of criteria when choosing a partner, so that what you look for will clearly depend on your priorities in life. If you want to have children, you probably want someone who is dependable, who is caring and who will contribute financially to your family’s income. If you want to live the high life; travelling all the time; entertaining frequently and residing in a large house, you may prioritise the earning potential of your spouse more than if you just want to live a normal life and raise a family. However, what if your sole reason for marrying a man is because he’s rich?

Most people would probably regard a woman who marries a man solely for his money with disdain. There is an assumption that this kind of woman relies heavily on her looks to get what she wants; never bothers to work; and preys on vulnerable men. However, these men obviously have some idea of what they’re getting into. Of course, if you’re a rich man, then there is a good chance you’re going to attract women who like money. The likelihood is that you will attend certain social functions where these women lurk and you can find yourself drawn in.

Men are probably happy to play along with the idea that these women find them attractive, regardless of whether they do or not. There are obviously instances where women do fall in love with rich men and don’t want them just for their money, but there are also plenty of cases where women’s only goal is to marry a man for his wealth. In today’s society, there is an expectation that women should work, just as men do, though this wasn’t always the case. In the past, it was regarded as more socially acceptable for a woman to stay at home and look after the children and household in general.

It could therefore be argued that there is nothing wrong with a woman marrying a man for his money, as it provides her with security and may give her the opportunity to fulfil a role she enjoys – that of a loyal and supportive wife. Yet, there are those women who just want to enjoy the status of being married to a rich man and having access to his credit cards and bank account, mingling with other rich people and showing off their wealth. If the man is happy with this, then that is fair enough, but not all men are aware of their spouse’s intentions. This is when it is clear that marrying a man for his money is a bit of an ethical dilemma, though seemingly not for those women who just want to be rich!

Exercise for Better Mental Health

It is evident that many people struggle to find the time to exercise, but it really is important to work on your fitness. Not only is exercise important for helping you to maintain a healthy weight and keeping your body in good condition; it can also benefit your mental health. It is therefore worth making time in your schedule to exercise. There are plenty of activities to try, from power-walking and jogging to cycling and swimming and, as long as you do something which gets your heart rate going, then you will really feel the benefits.

By keeping active you will find it much easier to keep your weight down and since many people find their weight a rather stressful issue, this can only benefit your self-esteem. Indeed, exercise can help you deal with stress and anxiety, anyway, because of the chemicals that are released into your system when you get active. You have to really push yourself to access all the benefits available, but if you increase the intensity of your workouts and exercise for longer, you will notice a difference, as you’re left buzzing due to all the endorphins that are flowing through your body. This is sometimes referred to as a ‘runner’s high’.

Thus, although it may seem like a real effort to put your trainers on and go for a run, once you actually do so, you will get a boost from breathing in the fresh air and pushing yourself beyond what you thought you were capable of. After a run or a bike ride you will feel refreshed and alert and soon you will start wanting to go outside to exercise or to the gym for a workout, because you remember how good you feel afterwards. Keeping active can also improve the quality of your sleep and make falling asleep easier, which is also beneficial for your mental health, since sleep enables your mind to process issues so that you are more focused when you wake up.

You can also take exercise with other people, giving you a chance to socialise and meet others with similar goals and interests as yourself. If you join a club or a gym, you may find it easier to stay motivated and to maintain a positive attitude with regard to exercise, thus making it easier for you to keep on exercising even on those days when you cannot be bothered! Clearly, then, the importance of regular exercise should not be underestimated!

Why Should You Exercise?

Medical professionals often extol the virtues of exercise, but it seems that very few people listen. There are, of course, those individuals who enthusiastically run or go the gym every day, but for many individuals, exercise seems to require too much time and effort to bother with. It is therefore understandable why obesity has been a growing problem in the developed world. People have become lazier and are expending less energy, whilst at the same time there is a wider array of cheap, calorific food to choose from. If you don’t get the balance right between calories in and calories out, the inevitable result is weight gain.

Clearly, then, a good reason to exercise is for weight control. If you exercise regularly, you will find that is much easier to avoid weight gain. Whilst you are exercising your body is having to work and is therefore using up energy; plus, it helps speed up your metabolism and continues to do so, even once you have stopped. You can work on toning up parts of your body and improving your overall appearance by incorporating cardiovascular exercise, such as running, into your daily routine and building muscle by lifting weights, since muscle helps you to burn more calories.

Exercise offers you more than just the chance to stay slim and toned, though; it is also essential for your health. By exercising on a regular basis, you are conditioning and strengthening your heart and keeping visceral fat levels down, which is important, because it reduces the chances that you will have a heart attack or develop diabetes and other serious medical conditions. Although exercise might seem like a waste of time, it really isn’t, as you will be able to stay in better physical condition for longer by simply making time in your day to do something that elevates your heart rate for half an hour or so.

Not only will your physical well-being benefit from the decision to get more active; your mental well-being will also improve. When you exercise, especially at a high intensity, your brain releases chemicals, such as endorphins, which help you to feel more positive. You will therefore better able to cope with stress and anxiety. Plus, you will find it much easier to sleep after tiring your body out and this is good news, because sleep is also important for your mental health. Another benefit of exercise is that it gives you an opportunity to find a new interest and meet different people, which can ease boredom and give your self-esteem a boost.

It is therefore evident that there are a multitude of reasons why you should exercise, and not very many good excuses to avoid it!

Why do People Vote for Extremist Parties?

What is considered as extreme by one person in a society may vary considerably to what another person in a different society considers extreme. However, in general terms, extremist political parties are very dogmatic and unwavering in their beliefs and are prepared to use whatever measures they have at their disposal to achieve their objectives. Political extremism is often viewed in terms of left and right, with leftist extremists wanting a complete overhaul of the political system and redistribution of wealth to ensure equality. Right-wing extremists are usually considered to be those with racist or nationalistic tendencies. However, at either end of the spectrum there are various parties with their own contradictions and nuances.

Generally, though, extremist parties offer a simple message, which ordinary people can understand and relate to. If you’ve just lost your job, because the economy is in a terrible state, and it is going to be hard for you to find work again, of course you’re going to look for someone to blame. If the government has been making decisions that have had a detrimental impact on your life, then you’re hardly likely to trust the same politicians to suddenly start making decisions that work in your favour. Instead, you may listen to minority voices – those who perhaps do not have mainstream coverage, because they are considered to be ‘extreme’.

It is understandable that when people feel disillusioned with the current system, they turn elsewhere, especially when they feel hopeless and as if they are unable to change the situation. Extremist parties on the right may focus their energies on blaming immigrants for taking away the jobs of native inhabitants, and when you’re trying to find work and end up having to compete against other job seekers who are not local, you may well feel annoyed and angry about the situation.

Voting for a right-wing extremist party gives you an opportunity to express this frustration and let those in power know how you feel. Extreme parties on the left tend not to attack immigrants themselves, but rather blame the system for increasing the wealth divide, so that the rich get richer and the poor, poorer.
If your political system has proportional representation, then your vote can actually make a difference to the composition of a government. If you are fed up with the usual, mainstream politicians who are constantly performing a balancing act, trying to keep people from all sides happy in order not to offend anyone and thus lose votes, you might want things to be shaken up a bit. At least with extremist parties, you know what you’re getting; or, at least, that is how it seems!

However people choose to vote, it is often the case that if they are fed up with the same-old politicians pedalling the same old sound bites, they may be tempted to look further afield. Extremist parties usually peddle a simple message that can catch on quickly amongst the frustrated, disillusioned and ignorant. If they have a charismatic leader, this can also help their chances, but, in most cases, extremist parties remain on the fringes. However, this often makes mainstream politicians complacent, which is when the situation could become more serious.

Why is There a Societal Obsession With Getting Rich?

In the UK, there definitely appears to be an obsession with getting rich, as if being wealthy will somehow solve all problems known to man. Unfortunately, it’s easy to become dissatisfied with your lot when you’re force-fed news stories about how various CEOs of failing companies award themselves millions of pounds’ worth of bonuses, whilst lower-paid workers are being laid off. Then there are those managers and executives who are paid exorbitant amounts of money using taxpayers’ money, despite often doing a poor job. When you’re struggling with your finances and working hard for very little reward, you can find yourself wanting a better life and questioning why we live in such a grossly unfair, unequal society.

That’s just the way it is, though. There is very little you can do about it when the people creating the laws are often the product of a privileged background. They often went to school with other leading figures in society – so you have politicians who are well-connected to people in the media, banking industry and in business. Politicians are hardly likely to create laws which could possibly have a detrimental impact on their ‘friends’ – the people who are likely to offer them financial and moral support. Ultimately, the rich are making laws which protect the rich and the rest of society is supposed to aspire to being rich, without being given the means to achieve such an objective.

Whenever you switch on the television or log into your computer, you come across advertisements which are trying to sell you a lifestyle. You’re told that if you own a certain car or dress a certain way, you will portray yourself as successful and wealthy, and that others will judge you more favourably for doing so. This is a materialistic society and wealth creation depends on individuals spending their money on luxury items. It keeps people in jobs and when people are in work, they can afford to spend money on products they don’t necessarily need, but that they think they want. Soon, an item that was once considered a luxury becomes an essential item, such as in the case of mobile phones.

You become convinced that if you had more money you’d be happier, because you’d be able to buy all these products and services, without having to scrimp and save. Yet, in most cases you don’t need half of the stuff you think you would like, anyway. It’s just that you’ve been conditioned into thinking you must have the best of everything. You don’t even have to work hard for it these days, as you can gamble your way to riches by playing the lottery or gambling online, or try your luck on a television talent show. Clearly, if you are unable to pay your rent or feed yourself, then, of course, it would be preferable to have more money at your disposal, but there surely has to be more to life than simply getting rich, doesn’t there?

How to Get People to Read Your Articles

What is the point of writing articles if no one is going to read them? With so many article directories, blogs and websites you can submit your articles to, it’s no wonder that driving traffic towards your work can be a challenge. Clearly, if you want to make money from writing online articles, it helps if people actually click on your articles. You therefore have to find a way to make your articles stand out and to develop an effective marketing plan to ensure that you connect with people who are likely to be interested in what you have to say.

In the past, there was a great deal of emphasis on SEO and there are still those who swear by it, but stuffing your articles full of keywords doesn’t always make for a particularly good article. Besides, the ranking of your article is liable to change on any given day, as search engine companies try to focus on delivering high-quality results instead of sending people to articles that are poorly written and offer readers nothing of any value. Consequently, it is worth concentrating on producing interesting and well-written articles in the first place.

It helps to find a niche. If you’re interested in health and fitness, then it is worth building up a decent portfolio of articles that focus on topics within that field. That way, you can attract followers who have similar interests, which is especially useful when you turn to social media sites to promote your work. If you stick to topics that you are enthusiastic about, you will find it much easier to conduct the necessary research and write articles quickly; and if you’re passionate about the topic you’re writing about, this will show in your writing, so that people will want to carry on reading.

So, basically, you have to write articles that people are going to want to read. If you write good enough articles, they may attract an audience organically, although it is also worth utilising the benefits of social media to drive people towards your articles. Ultimately, it is pointless trying to build up a large following on Twitter if you only have a few articles and they’re all poorly written and offer no information or insight. You therefore need to work on creating a significant number of articles, preferably that focus on a specific topic area, as this will inspire confidence that you know what you’re talking about and make it easier to connect with people who have similar interests. If you read what they are writing, then they may well reciprocate, which is obviously what you want, as you become part of the writing community.

Can You Lose Weight too Quickly?

When you’re continually told that being fat is bad for your health, it is not surprising that you can find yourself turning to various fad diets which claim you will lose huge amounts of weight quickly. It’s hard work losing weight, anyway, and so anything that helps speed up the process is obviously going to appeal to people. Unfortunately, the body is not really designed to facilitate weight loss and so you have to be patient to achieve long-lasting results. This might mean you only lose a pound or two a week, but it also increases your chances of reaching your goal weight and staying there.

It might be possible to lose large amounts of weight at the beginning of a diet, because your body is shocked into losing weight. After eating all you want, your body is suddenly being deprived of calories and the inevitable result is weight loss. Fad diets certainly shake things up, but it’s worth realising that the majority of fad diets might focus solely on drastic calorie reduction, but the implication of not getting enough calories is that you could end up jeopardising your health as well. If you’re told you can only eat certain food groups in order to lose weight, the chances are you will miss out on vital nutrients.

Patience can be hard to find when you’re trying to lose weight, because you’re very much aware of where you are and where you would prefer to be. When you have a substantial amount of weight to lose, you visualise losing the weight within a matter of weeks, so that you can soon go back to eating normally. However, it was probably your normal way of eating that caused the problem in the first place. Fad diets do nothing to get you thinking about long-term weight management, which you can only do through watching your calorie intake and balancing it out against your calorie expenditure.

Ideally, then, you should take this approach to weight loss from the start. You may be able to lose weight quickly on a fad diet, but some of that weight will be the result of water and muscle loss, and you can only stick to such a diet for so long, because it is usually restrictive, which can be bad for your health. It can also become rather soul-destroying, having to eat the same thing day in, day out, and ultimately your motivation levels will decline.

VLCDs might seem like a good idea, as well, as you will lose weight even faster than with other diets, and they’re nutritionally-balanced, but there is also the danger of developing gallstones and of being left with saggy skin. Plus, so many people who go on these diets end up just as heavy, if not heavier, once they stop drinking the calorie-controlled shakes and start eating proper food again.

Clearly, if you’re extremely overweight, losing a significant amount of weight will benefit your health, but it’s also worth bearing in mind that you can lose weight too quickly. If you do lose a large amount of weight extremely quickly, there is a good chance you will just gain it all back, which will mean you have wasted your time for no reason.

The Best Music to Listen to When Running

Running is a great activity to help you keep fit, but for many people it is a necessary evil. They don’t like doing it, but they do it for the health benefits. However, when you don’t enjoy doing an activity, it can be extremely difficult to motivate yourself to keep doing it. In order to maintain your fitness, exercise has to be a regular part of your schedule, and so although it might be tempting to lie in bed for an extra hour, instead of going for a jog, it’s best not to! Instead, it is worth looking for a way to make running more enjoyable.

That is why so many runners listen to music on their morning or evening jog. Music can help you to forget about the aching in your legs as you plod along to the sound of your favourite tunes. If you want to work on improving your speed, you may want to choose fast-paced music, as this will give you a faster beat to run to. If you’re listening to slow, ballad-type songs, it can be a challenge to push yourself to go faster, whereas if you’re listening to some thrash metal, for instance, the pace will be faster, making it easier for you to go faster as well.

Speed may not necessarily be your main objective, though, and really the most important thing is to find music that you actually enjoy listening to. There’s no point putting some fast-paced dance music on your MP3 player if you hate dance music, as this is unlikely to distract you in a pleasant way, since you won’t be able to concentrate on the music instead of the pain if you loathe what is being played! It might be worth creating a playlist of songs to run to, so that you can pick and choose your favourite songs by various artists that you feel are good ones to run to.

Listening to music whilst running can help you stay in the zone and keep you motivated to continue, but it’s also worth bearing in mind that if you’re not fully focused on your surroundings it can be dangerous. Thus, no matter how good the music, you have to be aware of what is going on around you, especially if you intend to run on the road. You shouldn’t be playing music too loudly when it means you can’t hear the approach of oncoming traffic and so noise-cancelling earphones may not be the best option. As long as you keep your wits about you, however, you should be able to run safely and enjoy whatever your preferred choice of music happens to be.

The Dangers of Building Online Relationships

The Internet is a wonderful invention that has connected people from all over the world. You frequently read of couples who have got together after connecting online and it gives you hope that maybe somewhere out there you will find the partner of your dreams. The trouble is that online relationships are very different from real-life ones. The Internet is a fantastic way to get to know someone, but, at the same time, you have to be conscious of the fact that the person you’re talking to could be misleading you in some way.

Unfortunately, it is so much easier to create an online persona that differs from the person you are in real life. Of course, if you have any intention of meeting the person you’re chatting to online, then there is very little point posting a picture of someone who looks like a supermodel when you’re actually short and fat! This doesn’t seem to stop some people, but it is pointless, because you want to know that the person you’re talking to is who they say they are. Thus, if you do meet someone you’ve been chatting to online and find out they look very different from their picture, you may start to wonder what other lies they have been telling.

Online relationships can give you some degree of fulfilment, but most people only enter into them on the basis that one day they will meet up with the person they’re chatting to. However, just because you want to get to know someone and eventually meet up with them, that doesn’t mean they have the same objectives. They may simply want to engage in sex talk with you or get you to like them, so that they can extract details about your personal life from you and try to get money out of you. When you feel there is a real connection between you and the person you’re talking to online, it’s easy to get carried away and believe that you’re ‘in love’, but is it really possible to fall in love with someone you’ve never met before?

Ultimately, online dating and friendship sites have facilitated the creation of relationships across the land and enabled people who may never otherwise have met to discover each other. However, at the end of the day, there has to be clarity about what each person wants and a willingness to take the relationship offline on the part of both people. Honesty is also important, as is trust. Although there needs to be a degree of trust, you also have to be aware of the fact that people do lie and that the person you think you’re getting may not be what you actually get.

This happens in real life, as well, though. Even if you get together with someone you met at work, it doesn’t mean they’re not hiding something either. It’s just that with online relationships you have to be more acutely aware of the dangers, because it is so easy to be open about your feelings and emotions. Consequently, even though to some people online relationships are not ‘proper’ relationships, there is still the chance that you could be left feeling used, abandoned and hurt by someone who you thought cared for you, which is always painful, regardless of how you met.

How to Make Your Millions!

Do you want to be millionaire? Well, of course you do – who wouldn’t?! So, how do you go about it, then? Well, if it were really that easy, it is very likely that there wouldn’t be as many people doing minimum-pay jobs! However, it is clear that if you’re interested in business and want to get rich, it helps to have a good idea; to have financial backing and the right connections. If you’re a writer or involved in something creative, it also helps to have some good ideas, the right connections and the ability to market your work. Unfortunately, without a healthy dose of good luck as well, the chances are you will never be able to make millions!

The Internet has certainly provided more opportunities for normal people, though. You don’t have to rely on traditional networks to get your work out there. If you’re a writer, you don’t have to send your work to different publishers and face constant rejection, as you can simply self-publish what you’ve written. The only trouble is that, because it is so easy, everyone is doing it. You therefore face an uphill battle trying to get your work noticed. There are plenty of social networking sites where you can share links and get people clicking on the sites where you publish your work, but it takes time, patience and tenacity.

Indeed, you can spend more time trying to promote your work than actually writing or whatever it is you do. Thus, you have less opportunity to develop your craft and become better at writing, taking photographs or making things. You end up under the delusion you could be successful, when really you’re not very good! It is a tough fact to face, especially when your work is there for everyone to see, but there are others in exactly the same situation. It is a similar situation when starting up your own business. You may be able to start an online business and attract customers, but you have to put the effort in and there are no guarantees customers will keep coming back.

Ultimately, if you want to make your millions, you might be better off playing the lottery, although the chances of you winning that are pretty slim, too! You could always invest in stocks and shares and try to cash in on them at the right time or take up some other form of gambling. There is always the option to create your own website offering people the secret to make their millions, if they only pay you a subscription fee! There are so many of those kinds of website which tell you that it’s possible to make millions without very much effort that you have nothing to lose, except your integrity! Perhaps, at the end of the day, you’re better off acknowledging that there is more to life than earning millions!

The Drawbacks of Online Friendships

The trouble with online friendships is their transient nature. When you’re bored and lonely, it’s easy to look for someone you can make a brief connection with in a chat room or on a social networking site, as it passes the time. However, even if you exchange email addresses or become Skype buddies, there is no guarantee you will ‘talk’ again. You just don’t have the same bond as you do with the individuals you encounter in your everyday life – out of sight, out of mind as they say. In real life, you encounter people and you build a bond with them that is harder to break.

That is not to say there is no value in online friendships, but you have to be prepared to put the time and energy into getting to know someone and just because you email regularly and try to keep in contact, your online ‘friend’ may not be quite as committed. It’s frustrating, because usually all you have is their email address, and you can’t keep inundating them with messages until you get a response, because if they don’t want to write back, they won’t. Of course, real-life friends can ignore you, too, but it tends to be a lot more difficult when you’re standing face-to-face and you’re usually given some kind of explanation.

Friends tend to be people you can rely on in a crisis; people who will help you out and support you when things go wrong, but with online friends, you don’t get the same kind of immediacy. You may send an email, but you don’t know when you’re going to get a response. There is also the possibility that your online friend is stringing you along and is not really who he or she claims to be. You could find yourself revealing all sorts of personal details, only to discover that you’re being used for some reason. Your ‘friend’ may end up trying to use the information you’ve provided against you, blackmailing you or trying to hack into any online accounts you may have.

There is always an element of risk when trying to build up any kind of friendship, though. Even when you think you know someone in person, they could quite easily be holding something back or lying about themselves. However, being online makes it much easier for individuals to get away with such behaviour, as individuals can hide behind their online personae. Although it is possible to build long-lasting online friendships, for most people the novelty soon wears off and after a few weeks or months of corresponding, the level of interaction tails off.

How to Increase Your Earnings from Online Articles

In order to increase your earnings from online articles, it helps to write articles on subjects that people are interested in and are likely to click on. It can be hard to settle on a topic you feel comfortable writing about, at first, and then you actually have to find a way to draw attention to your work. You may be a very good writer and have a deep understanding about nutrition, for example, but if nobody reads what you have written, then no one is going to know that! Unfortunately, just because you’re a good writer, it doesn’t mean people are automatically going to find your article, especially because search engine rankings are so hard to predict.

Indeed, you can try to cram your articles full of keywords, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that your article is going to come out on top. You therefore have to focus on writing well-crafted articles that have links to other sites and which are just the right length to hold your audience’s attention. Although you may be able to create an article of over 1000 words long, you are probably better off breaking this up into a number of different articles, as people generally have a short attention span, so that reading a really long article is somewhat off-putting.

Plus, if you write a number of articles, this means greater potential to earn money from ad revenue. Clearly, if you want to increase the earnings you make from your online articles; it helps to have a large number of articles in the first place. If someone reads one of your articles and enjoys it, they may be inclined to click on any links you’ve posted to your other articles. If you build up a loyal audience, they may well share links with their friends and associates, which obviously directs more people to your work, thus increasing the amount of money you can make from your online articles.

Although it can be tempting to churn out huge numbers of really short articles, most content sites have word limits in place, because when people click on a link, they want to know they’re going to get an article that is worth reading, rather than something that has been thrown together for the sake of it. You therefore have to try to produce articles that are of a decent standard, especially if you intend to promote your articles using social media.

Using social media sites such as Twitter can significantly increase your earnings, but the best way to build up a following is to connect with other people who are interested in what you have to write about. If your articles are nonsense, eventually you will be found out and people are hardly likely to recommend their own followers to check out your work. Ultimately, if you want to increase your earnings from online articles, you have to work at it, making sure you create good-quality articles on a regular basis and that you make an effort to promote them. You are hardly likely to get rich overnight, but it is possible to earn a reasonable amount of money if you try.

Can You Get Rich Fast?

If it was possible to get rich quickly, why do so many people find themselves working incredibly hard for so little? Of course, everyone clings on to the idea you can get rich with the minimum of effort, which is why so many people play the lottery. Indeed, the only way you’re likely to get rich quickly is to stumble upon a piece of good fortune by winning a large sum of money through gambling – whether by playing the lottery, going to a casino or putting money on a horse that comes good. There are other ways you could get rich quickly, but few of them involve actual work.

You may be sitting on a fortune without even realising it, as many people have houses full of junk. You may discover that amongst the ‘junk’ is something that is actually an antique worth a lot of money when you have a house clear-out. It could be that you end up buying something in a junk shop or online because you like the look of it, only to discover it’s actually a rare antique that is incredibly valuable. If it goes to auction you could quickly find yourself with more money than you ever anticipated.

It might be the case that a long-lost relative dies and leaves you a substantial sum of money, so that you find yourself financially better-off. Of course, a relative dying may be a sad affair, and unless your family is inordinately rich, any inheritance probably won’t be that magnificent. However, when life is such a struggle, you need to hold on to something and it would be nice to think that without having to do anything you could become financially secure. Of course, with all the legal wrangling that is likely to ensue, you probably won’t get rich that quickly; plus, you will have to pay tax.

So, basically, you can get rich quick if you come from a wealthy, generous family or like to gamble and have some good luck or are just lucky in general. You may invest in stocks and shares or buy a home that increases in value over the years and find yourself getting rich without any real effort on your part. There are so many get-rich-quick schemes that seem to offer you the chance to make your millions, but they’re all a con, preying on people’s desire to be financially secure. The most depressing thing is that working hard won’t necessarily guarantee you will attain financial security; yet gambling can sometimes pay off. It hardly offers you an incentive to work hard, now; does it?!

When Does it Become Important to Lose Weight?

Although there are various weight guidelines, most notably the Body Mass Index (BMI), which are used to determine whether a person is a healthy weight, or not; everyone has their own ideal. According to your BMI, a measurement which takes into account height and weight, falling between 18.5 and 24.9 makes you a healthy weight. Anything above or below this figure means that you are not a healthy weight and either need to gain or lose weight. However, this covers quite a significant range, and even if you are officially considered a healthy weight, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re happy at the weight you are.

Basically, it becomes important to lose weight when you’re heavy enough for you to be dissatisfied with the way you look, so that it affects your confidence; or it affects your health, and you are unable to live the kind of life you want. If you find your clothes getting tighter, you may not have to buy a whole new wardrobe if you decide to cut down on snacks and exercise more, which is clearly the preferable option. Perhaps you’re considered to be a healthy weight, but are at the higher end of the BMI scale and would like to lose weight and tone up, so that you can look and feel better in the clothes you wear.

There is definitely a superficial element to losing weight. Everyone wants to look good and, in this society, the aesthetic ideal is that of a slender, toned body, rather than an overweight one. Even if you are confident in yourself, it’s hard not to be affected by the images you’re bombarded with on a daily basis. When all you see when you turn on the television or flick through a magazine is images of skinny women, of course this is going to have an impact on the way you feel about yourself. It is one thing to preach body confidence, but it’s quite another to practise it.

More important than the way you look is how you feel and your overall health. At the end of the day, if you’re sick because of your weight and unable to do anything for yourself, it isn’t really going to matter what you look like, is it? If your health is beginning to suffer because of your weight, as is so often the case, then it is definitely worth trying to do something about it. Heart disease, stroke, and diabetes are just a few of the conditions which you are more likely to develop if you’re overweight and obviously it is better to tackle your weight before your health becomes a serious issue.

Losing weight isn’t easy and it might be tempting to put off dealing with it, but, ultimately, if you’re unhappy with your size and it’s affecting your quality of life you need to do something about it, rather than continually making excuses.

The Benefits of Online Friendships

There are individuals who tend to belittle online friendships, claiming that you can’t really be friends with someone you have never met. However, to those who invest a great deal of time and energy into their online friendships, they are very real. Of course, there are different types of online friendship. Sometimes, you connect with someone, because it gives you an opportunity to share your writing or promote your blog. However, there are occasions when you discover that you have something in common with a person who you randomly added as a friend, and you begin to build a more solid friendship.

Online friendships work in pretty much the same way as real-life friendships, in that you ask each other questions and discover more about each other’s upbringing, education, career, family, interests and beliefs. The only significant difference is that instead of sitting across a table, face-to-face, you are probably typing away at a computer. Perhaps there isn’t quite as much fulfilment from an online friendship, since you can’t simply agree to meet up for a drink or do something together, as you could in real life. However, for some people offline relationships are harder to come by. If you live an isolated existence, then it might be the case that online friendship is all you have.

Some people struggle to interact with other individuals in their everyday lives, and so online friendships enable them to connect with other people who may have similar problems. It could be that building online friendships enables them to escape their problems, so that they don’t have to worry about the fact they’re not very good in social situations. Online friends may not seem real to other people, but when you have spent months or years exchanging emails and chatting on instant messenger, only you are aware of the bond you have built up. It feels as if you understand each other, and it is reassuring to know you have someone to confide in.

There may be some individuals online who choose to lie about who they are and so construct elaborate identities for themselves, but this is a pretty rare occurrence. If they are trying to get money out of you or manipulate you in some way, it won’t take long to find out the truth. In most cases, online friendships are built on mutual interests or shared experiences. Some people decide that they are close enough to their online friends to actually meet up with them, whilst for others this just isn’t an option. Although the Internet has enabled people from all over the world to connect, it hasn’t made travelling hundreds of miles any more practical! Even if there is no chance of meeting an online pal offline, it doesn’t mean that their friendship is any less worthwhile.

Are Online Relationships Worth Investing in?

It is amazing how much time and emotional energy you can invest in an online relationship and you have to wonder, is it really worth it? Of course, different people want different things from their online relationships. For some individuals, connecting online is a precursor to meeting offline and building a proper, real-life relationship. Other individuals believe they get enough fulfilment from online relationships and seem to live their whole lives on the Internet. This definitely seems less healthy in that no matter how strong a relationship can seem online, you don’t really know who you’re talking to or if you’re likely to have any real-life chemistry.

The trouble is that no matter how honest you are about yourself, it is obviously easier to highlight certain character traits and ignore others, even if it is at unconscious level. When you’re online, you may feel that you can tell the other person anything and everything, and do so, but this tends not to be the case when you meet for real. Just because you ‘click’ online does not mean that there will be the same chemistry when you meet face-to-face and this can ultimately lead to disappointment, especially if you have been exchanging emails and chatting via instant messenger for a long time. Of course, this isn’t going to be a problem if you never intend to meet.

However, you have to bear in mind that whilst you may be happy keeping a relationship online, exchanging friendly messages and perhaps flirting a little, the other person may want something more. It is easy to get caught up in the moment of finding someone who really seems to understand you and who appears to have a similar outlook on the world and the same kind of interests, but this sort of relationship is not the same as one where you see each other every day and interact in person. Online relationships are not a waste of time if you feel you get something out of them. If you enjoy the companionship you get, then who cares if it is only online?

After all, it isn’t always practical to meet. If you live hundreds of miles away, it isn’t as easy as just arranging to have a quick coffee, and so you can find yourself getting to know someone really well online and growing closer, despite the distance. At the end of the day, though, it is only an online relationship and there are those who will try to belittle it and emphasise how the person you think you’re really close to could in fact be an imposter. Indeed, it is worth bearing in mind that not everyone is who they say they are online, but that shouldn’t stop you using the Internet to connect with people and from building online relationships. It may not be healthy to live your life completely online, but there is nothing wrong with online relationships if they make you happy.

Is it Possible to Fall in Love Online?

The Internet has made it exceptionally easy to connect with people and it therefore comes as no surprise that so many people have tried online dating and built relationships online. There are dating and friendship sites; chat rooms and social media sites, such as Twitter and Facebook, where you can get in contact with people you otherwise wouldn’t have met. However, if you’ve never met in real life and your only interaction is online, is the relationship you have likely to be on the same level as the relationships you have in your real life? Is it possible to chat with someone online and to fall in love with them, despite having never met?

Some people believe it is possible. After all, it is a rather romantic notion – the idea that you can meet your ‘soul mate’ online, someone you share your innermost thoughts and beliefs with; someone who accepts you the way you are; someone who makes you feel good about yourself. Yet, the trouble is it’s much easier to be open with a stranger when you’re typing away at a computer. It is not quite the same as having a face-to-face conversation and getting to know someone in person. There is much more opportunity to lie or exaggerate when you’re not in a position to meet up with the other individual.

In a real-life situation, you are immediately aware of whether there is any chemistry between you, which isn’t true when you’ve only conducted a relationship online. Even if you’re both entirely honest with one another, there will undoubtedly be aspects of your personality you highlight, and other aspects you downplay, whether consciously or not. If you only spend an hour or two using instant messenger to communicate or merely send emails on a daily basis, how much can you really find out about a person? At least if you know each other in real life, you will have a better chance to see what they are truly like.

Of course, it can feel as though you’re in love when you can chat via webcam or whilst using instant messenger for hours on end, but, again, you can be quite selective in what you reveal about yourself. Besides, even though you may appear to have chemistry online, there is no guarantee this is going to translate into chemistry when you actually meet. Obviously, when you’re in love, certain chemical reactions take place, and you’re unlikely to experience these when you can’t see, touch or smell the other person. Your personalities may click, but it could turn out that you are not attracted to each other when you meet and that what you have is more of a friendship than romantic.

It might be possible to find someone who you can imagine falling in love with online, but the reality is that you can’t really gauge how you feel about an individual until you have met; had a face-to-face conversation and got to know each other in person.