Being Alone Versus Loneliness

There seems to be an assumption that if you are alone, it automatically means you are lonely. This becomes particularly apparent during the festive season when you are bombarded with advertisements for various charities. There is a tendency to focus on all the poor, sad, lonely old folk who have nobody to celebrate Christmas with. Undoubtedly, there are individuals who do feel isolated and lonely, but it isn't just old people, and why does this only seem to matter at Christmas? Well, of course, at the same time these charitable ads are on, there are also numerous ads featuring big, happy families with everyone smiling and enjoying their Christmas dinner being shown, just to rub it in.

These ads never show the reality of Christmas Day. They never show the arguments in the build-up to Christmas over how much to spend on presents; who's cooking dinner; and where people are spending Christmas. They never show the boredom or disappointment on people's faces on Christmas Day. Why would they? They are there to sell products, but if you are lonely, it is easy to be taken in by these romanticised images of family life and togetherness. However, for many people being alone is, in general, actually preferable to being with others.

The trouble is that, in this society, you are judged negatively for not always wanting to go out and for not wanting to get drunk and socialise. It is as if you are either a creature to be pitied or a miserly, irritable outcast. It might be unfair, but it can end up reminding you why seeking out human contact isn't always worth the effort. It isn't unusual for people to turn to their pets for warmth and comfort, as animals don't judge you and are loyal. You don't have to deal with backstabbing, gossip and being ignored. Some people don't even need the company of pets. For other people, it is literature, music and film that keeps them occupied, whether they simply apreciate it or whether they have a creative mind and work on their own projects.

Just because you don't crave the company of other people and are considered to be alone doesn't mean you're lonely, but it is the pitying expressions of other people and the overall expectation that you should want to be around others can make you start to wonder whether you're missing out on something. It is this which can have a more negative impact on your well-being, because then you start to question yourself and whether you're normal, even though everybody is different. Unfortuantely, it appears that society simply has a harder time accepting introverted personalities than those of out-and-out extroverts.