Why is it so Difficult to Talk About Your Feelings?

Just why it is so difficult to talk about your feelings when everyone has them? You are not alone in feeling down, depressed or anxious, yet it often feels that this is the case. You don't want others to pass judgement on you and develop a negative impression of you just because you say exactly what you are feeling. Sometimes, it is easier to keep quiet and bottle up your feelings, rather than letting other people in. You may decide that you can cope with whatever life has to throw at you without anybody else's help, so that there is little point talking about your feelings.

There are times when stress and depression can become overwhelming, though, so that you wish you had someone to talk to. Unfortunately, when you have led everyone else to believe that you are in perfect control of your emotions, it can be difficult to suddenly pour your heart out and let other people into your world. Not everyone struggles to talk about their feelings, especially if they have always worn their heart on their sleeve. They may have grown up in an environment that encouraged openness and this is something they have taken with them into adulthood.

It depends on the influence your family has on you and the culture you are raised in. Some cultures promote and encourage openness so that it is accepted as normal to unburden yourself to other people. There are other cultures, however, where you're expected to show restraint and where it is frowned upon to be demonstrative. Clearly, if you are raised in an environment where you are encouraged to be open and honest all of the time, it becomes easier to talk about your feelings, which is unlikely to be the case when you are expected to remain in control of your emotions.

When you're brought up believing that self-control is key, of course it is going to be difficult to override what comes naturally to you. You don't want to be judged by your peers for being different; for having problems that you simply cannot cope with and letting them know this. You don't want to allow your feelings to spill out in case you say something that won't go down well with friends and relatives, which means you just keep your mouth shut. Everyone has certain expectations of you and you don't really want to let them see your more vulnerable side.

It is a shame that many people struggle to talk about their feelings, when it could really help them deal with everyday issues. Depression, anxiety, stress and a general sense of negativity can make it very hard to lead a happy, contented life, especially when you cannot share how you're feeling with anyone else. Sometimes, it helps to be able to share your problems with other people, but fear can hold you back. This isn't a good thing, because if you are unable to cope with what is happening in your life, you could suffer a nervous breakdown or develop other health problems if you're not careful.