Why is it so Difficult to Find a Partner When You Lack Confidence?

It can be difficult to find a partner when you lack confidence, because you may not bother to put yourself in situations where you would actually have a chance of finding someone. If you rarely go out, then of course you're going to have a limited number of social interactions, thus reducing your chance of finding someone. You don't even have to go out to pubs and clubs to find someone to chat up or be chatted up by, as there are many other ways to meet people. You could take up a sport or another kind of hobby or look into online dating. However, it helps to have a certain degree of confidence when taking such a big step.

Clearly, it is one thing to arrange a date with someone else, but if you don't have much confidence in yourself, you may be tempted to make your excuses to get out of it, even though this isn't fair on the other person. Even if you do manage to turn up for a date, the other person isn't going to want to hear about all your perceived flaws and insecurities. You may struggle to think of positive things to say about yourself and you obviously don't want to come across as overly confident if this verges on conceitedness. Yet, your date isn't going to want to reassure you all the time that you're not as bad as you make out, especially when you're meeting for the first time.

In the long run, if you intend to pursue a proper relationship, confidence is invaluable for the purpose of being considered an equal. If you do not possess any confidence whatsoever it becomes harder to assert yourself, especially if you have a dominant partner. There are manipulative people out there who will tell you what you want to hear and then set about destroying what little self-esteem you have. When you lack confidence, you may not always recognise the signs that someone is trying to erode your confidence further, and so you become even more depressed and negative about yourself.

Ultimately, then, if you're looking to find a partner or to maintain a relationship, it helps to have confidence. If you don't really like yourself very much, it is obviously going to be more of a challenge to convince someone else that you're worth liking. Even if you do manage to attract someone, if you don't have any confidence, you will probably wonder why on earth anyone could find you appealing. If you're feeling insecure and are constantly questioning why someone is with you, you could end up driving that person away. Thus, if you are interested in finding a partner, it is definitely worth trying to work on your confidence first.