It can be difficult to find a partner when you lack confidence, because you may not bother to put yourself in situations where you would actually have a chance of finding someone. If you rarely go out, then of course you're going to have a limited number of social interactions, thus reducing your chance of finding someone. You don't even have to go out to pubs and clubs to find someone to chat up or be chatted up by, as there are many other ways to meet people. You could take up a sport or another kind of hobby or look into online dating. However, it helps to have a certain degree of confidence when taking such a big step.
Clearly, it is one thing to arrange a date with someone else, but if you don't have much confidence in yourself, you may be tempted to make your excuses to get out of it, even though this isn't fair on the other person. Even if you do manage to turn up for a date, the other person isn't going to want to hear about all your perceived flaws and insecurities. You may struggle to think of positive things to say about yourself and you obviously don't want to come across as overly confident if this verges on conceitedness. Yet, your date isn't going to want to reassure you all the time that you're not as bad as you make out, especially when you're meeting for the first time.
In the long run, if you intend to pursue a proper relationship, confidence is invaluable for the purpose of being considered an equal. If you do not possess any confidence whatsoever it becomes harder to assert yourself, especially if you have a dominant partner. There are manipulative people out there who will tell you what you want to hear and then set about destroying what little self-esteem you have. When you lack confidence, you may not always recognise the signs that someone is trying to erode your confidence further, and so you become even more depressed and negative about yourself.
Ultimately, then, if you're looking to find a partner or to maintain a relationship, it helps to have confidence. If you don't really like yourself very much, it is obviously going to be more of a challenge to convince someone else that you're worth liking. Even if you do manage to attract someone, if you don't have any confidence, you will probably wonder why on earth anyone could find you appealing. If you're feeling insecure and are constantly questioning why someone is with you, you could end up driving that person away. Thus, if you are interested in finding a partner, it is definitely worth trying to work on your confidence first.
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Monday, 2 December 2013
Why is it so Difficult to Make Friends When You Lack Confidence?
Most people find confidence to be an attractive quality, because when you're confident you tend to be more outgoing and approachable. If you lack confidence, it can be difficult to express your opinions and to converse with people. Consequently, it becomes more difficult to make friends. Unfortunately, if you do lack confidence, it may be previous social interactions which have undermined your confidence and left you feeling less inclined to socialise. If you have been bullied in the past, for instance, you may be worried that you will be judged negatively again for the way you look or act, and so you do your best to avoid meeting people.
However, if you're unhappy with always trying to avoid social occasions and find yourself craving human company, you have to get over your fears so that you can put yourself out there and start making friends. You have to try not to be overcome by anxiety or let what other people think about you stop you from trying new activities and socialising. At the end of the day, everyone is fundamentally the same, even if some people are nastier than others! You just have to make sure that you surround yourself with positive people, so that you don't get dragged down by other people's negativity. This is the only way to build some confidence.
You need to be making more of an effort to get out of the house and meeting people, so that you have an opportunity to get to know people and to make friends. If you hide yourself away all the time you may find it more difficult in future to establish relationships and to be able to actually talk with people. You won't improve your social skills by avoiding all interaction with other people and so you need to look for ways to meet new people, especially people that you may have something in common with, as this will make communication easier. Thus, it might be worth taking up a sport or some kind of hobby where you have the chance to spend time in other people's company.
It is going to be tough overcoming your confidence issues, but if you want to make new friends, it is worth doing. Of course, you may be able to make friends even without much confidence, but being a confident person can certainly help you to establish friendships and to keep these friendships going. The trouble is when you lack confidence, your thoughts can be rather negative and you wonder why anyone would want to be friends with you. This is when you may avoid going out with people and pushing people away, which can make it hard for other people to actually want to be friends with you. Thus to improve your social life, it could be worth trying to increase your confidence.
However, if you're unhappy with always trying to avoid social occasions and find yourself craving human company, you have to get over your fears so that you can put yourself out there and start making friends. You have to try not to be overcome by anxiety or let what other people think about you stop you from trying new activities and socialising. At the end of the day, everyone is fundamentally the same, even if some people are nastier than others! You just have to make sure that you surround yourself with positive people, so that you don't get dragged down by other people's negativity. This is the only way to build some confidence.
You need to be making more of an effort to get out of the house and meeting people, so that you have an opportunity to get to know people and to make friends. If you hide yourself away all the time you may find it more difficult in future to establish relationships and to be able to actually talk with people. You won't improve your social skills by avoiding all interaction with other people and so you need to look for ways to meet new people, especially people that you may have something in common with, as this will make communication easier. Thus, it might be worth taking up a sport or some kind of hobby where you have the chance to spend time in other people's company.
It is going to be tough overcoming your confidence issues, but if you want to make new friends, it is worth doing. Of course, you may be able to make friends even without much confidence, but being a confident person can certainly help you to establish friendships and to keep these friendships going. The trouble is when you lack confidence, your thoughts can be rather negative and you wonder why anyone would want to be friends with you. This is when you may avoid going out with people and pushing people away, which can make it hard for other people to actually want to be friends with you. Thus to improve your social life, it could be worth trying to increase your confidence.
Saturday, 30 November 2013
The Importance of Confidence for Professional Athletes
Confidence is extremely important for professional athletes, because if they don't believe in themselves how can they put everything into their performance? If you don't believe you can win, you may not push yourself hard enough to actually make winning a realistic possibility. You have to have self-confidence and believe that given the right training and preparation, you have as much chance as anyone else of being a winner. It is this kind of mentality that professional athletes have to adopt, which is perhaps why so many of them can end up coming across as arrogant in interviews.
Of course, it is difficult to sound modest when you're the best in the world at something. If you are a world champion cyclist or triathlete, then it would sound rather disingenuous to say that are completely surprised by your outstanding performance. To be a professional athlete obviously requires a great deal of physical strength, endurance and speed, but the psychological component cannot be ignored, either. A lot of psychological games go on between competing athletes and it is generally those who have confidence that come out on top.
When Mark Cavendish became world road race champion in 2011, it was largely because he had confidence in himself and his team also had confidence in him. Cavendish was the favourite to win and whereas many British athletes have baulked under such pressure, he did not. The British team decided to lead from the front, which demonstrated just how confident they were in their team leader and Cavendish certainly didn't let them down. It was obviously quite difficult for Cavendish and the whole British team to play down the expectations of him before the race, when everyone already knew he was the fastest sprinter in the world!
There have been occasions where other athletes haven't fared so well under this amount of pressure. For those who are deemed the best at what they do, continually putting in performance after performance can become quite stressful. Sometimes, a professional athlete can find himself on a losing streak that is hard to break, thus undermining his confidence further and making it even harder for him to come up with the goods. It only takes one good result for his confidence to start climbing again, though getting a win or a top-ten finish is often the real challenge.
With self-confidence and belief so important for professional athletes, it is not surprising that the role of sports psychologists has grown in significance, as athletes look for ways to harness their power to take their performance up a level, achieve good results consistently and become the best of the best.
Of course, it is difficult to sound modest when you're the best in the world at something. If you are a world champion cyclist or triathlete, then it would sound rather disingenuous to say that are completely surprised by your outstanding performance. To be a professional athlete obviously requires a great deal of physical strength, endurance and speed, but the psychological component cannot be ignored, either. A lot of psychological games go on between competing athletes and it is generally those who have confidence that come out on top.
When Mark Cavendish became world road race champion in 2011, it was largely because he had confidence in himself and his team also had confidence in him. Cavendish was the favourite to win and whereas many British athletes have baulked under such pressure, he did not. The British team decided to lead from the front, which demonstrated just how confident they were in their team leader and Cavendish certainly didn't let them down. It was obviously quite difficult for Cavendish and the whole British team to play down the expectations of him before the race, when everyone already knew he was the fastest sprinter in the world!
There have been occasions where other athletes haven't fared so well under this amount of pressure. For those who are deemed the best at what they do, continually putting in performance after performance can become quite stressful. Sometimes, a professional athlete can find himself on a losing streak that is hard to break, thus undermining his confidence further and making it even harder for him to come up with the goods. It only takes one good result for his confidence to start climbing again, though getting a win or a top-ten finish is often the real challenge.
With self-confidence and belief so important for professional athletes, it is not surprising that the role of sports psychologists has grown in significance, as athletes look for ways to harness their power to take their performance up a level, achieve good results consistently and become the best of the best.
Making Friends When You Lack Confidence
It can be extremely challenging to make friends when you lack confidence in yourself. For one thing, you may be inclined to avoid social situations, so that you don't give yourself an opportunity to meet people. This can make your problem worse, because if you avoid social interaction it only becomes more difficult to force yourself to talk to people. If you don't practise your social skills, when you finally do try to interact you may find yourself behaving in an awkward manner and your confidence plummets further. Even when you do manage to chat to people, you may not have the confidence to develop the friendship further.
Consequently, it can be a very lonely life when you lack confidence. Not always, though, as you may be one of those people who is able to hide the fact you don't have very much confidence. To everyone else, you may seem to be outgoing and charismatic when the reality is that you question yourself constantly and often wonder why anyone would want to be your friend. At least you are able to put yourself in a position to meet people. If you lack confidence and also suffer from severe shyness, you may really struggle to socialise with others. You may be lucky enough to have a small group of friends who you feel comfortable being around, or you may not.
It is when you have no friends at all that you can find yourself growing depressed. Unless you happen to be a loner who enjoys your own company more than anyone else's, the chances are you want to fit in and be accepted. You want to be able to go out with friends and have a good time, but without the confidence to meet people and open up, this is obviously difficult. It doesn't help when everyone else you know seems to have lots of friends. You come to see yourself as the black sheep of the family – the person no one else understands or can relate to – and so you withdraw deeper into your shell.
People are generally drawn to other people with confidence, because they don't want to have to constantly provide reassurance to their friends. Of course, offering reassurance is part of being a friend, but you don't want to have to tell your friend that she is attractive, slim and flawless every day when she is complaining about being fat, ugly and stupid and is evidently none of those things. It therefore helps to be confident when you're on the look out for friendship, but at the same time, you have to put yourself out there and risk rejection so you can actually gain the necessary confidence to make more friends.
Besides, everyone has certain aspects of themselves they are not particularly confident about, so you just have to try to get past your lack of confidence and instead focus on what makes you great!
Consequently, it can be a very lonely life when you lack confidence. Not always, though, as you may be one of those people who is able to hide the fact you don't have very much confidence. To everyone else, you may seem to be outgoing and charismatic when the reality is that you question yourself constantly and often wonder why anyone would want to be your friend. At least you are able to put yourself in a position to meet people. If you lack confidence and also suffer from severe shyness, you may really struggle to socialise with others. You may be lucky enough to have a small group of friends who you feel comfortable being around, or you may not.
It is when you have no friends at all that you can find yourself growing depressed. Unless you happen to be a loner who enjoys your own company more than anyone else's, the chances are you want to fit in and be accepted. You want to be able to go out with friends and have a good time, but without the confidence to meet people and open up, this is obviously difficult. It doesn't help when everyone else you know seems to have lots of friends. You come to see yourself as the black sheep of the family – the person no one else understands or can relate to – and so you withdraw deeper into your shell.
People are generally drawn to other people with confidence, because they don't want to have to constantly provide reassurance to their friends. Of course, offering reassurance is part of being a friend, but you don't want to have to tell your friend that she is attractive, slim and flawless every day when she is complaining about being fat, ugly and stupid and is evidently none of those things. It therefore helps to be confident when you're on the look out for friendship, but at the same time, you have to put yourself out there and risk rejection so you can actually gain the necessary confidence to make more friends.
Besides, everyone has certain aspects of themselves they are not particularly confident about, so you just have to try to get past your lack of confidence and instead focus on what makes you great!
Wednesday, 27 November 2013
The Impact of Weight Gain on Your Confidence
It is hard to be positive about weight gain, when you're so used to trying to stay slim. You generally know when you step on the scales whether you're going to be heavier than before, but it still comes as a shock to see the numbers. It is even worse when you've not been doing anything differently and have gained weight, because then you start to worry about potential health problems. Overall, then, whether your weight gain is expected or not, it tends to have a negative impact on your confidence, and the more weight you gain, the worse you feel about it.
When you start to get so heavy that none of your clothes fit you, it means you need to take a shopping trip, which can be a rather depressing experience. You find yourself having to try on clothes in a larger size and nothing you try on seems to look very good, because all you can focus on is all the extra fat you're carrying. You're also conscious of the fact that you've put on so much weight that other people must have noticed, which leaves you wondering what everyone else is saying about you. Clearly, this isn't going to do your confidence any favours.
It may be the case that those closest to you haven't even realised you've gained weight, especially if you haven't said anything. On the other hand, if all you have been doing is moaning about how much weight you've gained, it is something that won't have escaped their notice. You may be told to lose weight if you're unhappy about it, which isn't always what you want to hear, especially if this comes from your partner. You'd prefer to hear that you're just as lovely with curves and that he finds you attractive whatever your size, although in reality you know he's right.
If you're so unhappy with gaining weight that it is affecting other areas of your life, you obviously have to take action. When your confidence has taken such a hit that you start avoiding people and prefer to stay indoors all the time, instead of socialising when you used to be a social butterfly, you cannot simply ignore your weight. Gaining weight can affect your confidence without anyone even saying negative to you about it. In your head you're fat and everyone sees you as that, but the truth is that most people probably haven't noticed or don't really care.
For your own sake, though, if you can't lead the life you're used to because you've gained weight and this is making you miserable and undermining your confidence, it is well worth taking positive steps to alter the situation. There are more important things in life than weight, but, unfortunately, when it is an issue that dominates your own life, it is hard to see past the numbers on the scales, which, ultimately can have a detrimental impact on your confidence levels.
When you start to get so heavy that none of your clothes fit you, it means you need to take a shopping trip, which can be a rather depressing experience. You find yourself having to try on clothes in a larger size and nothing you try on seems to look very good, because all you can focus on is all the extra fat you're carrying. You're also conscious of the fact that you've put on so much weight that other people must have noticed, which leaves you wondering what everyone else is saying about you. Clearly, this isn't going to do your confidence any favours.
It may be the case that those closest to you haven't even realised you've gained weight, especially if you haven't said anything. On the other hand, if all you have been doing is moaning about how much weight you've gained, it is something that won't have escaped their notice. You may be told to lose weight if you're unhappy about it, which isn't always what you want to hear, especially if this comes from your partner. You'd prefer to hear that you're just as lovely with curves and that he finds you attractive whatever your size, although in reality you know he's right.
If you're so unhappy with gaining weight that it is affecting other areas of your life, you obviously have to take action. When your confidence has taken such a hit that you start avoiding people and prefer to stay indoors all the time, instead of socialising when you used to be a social butterfly, you cannot simply ignore your weight. Gaining weight can affect your confidence without anyone even saying negative to you about it. In your head you're fat and everyone sees you as that, but the truth is that most people probably haven't noticed or don't really care.
For your own sake, though, if you can't lead the life you're used to because you've gained weight and this is making you miserable and undermining your confidence, it is well worth taking positive steps to alter the situation. There are more important things in life than weight, but, unfortunately, when it is an issue that dominates your own life, it is hard to see past the numbers on the scales, which, ultimately can have a detrimental impact on your confidence levels.
The Impact of Weight Loss on Your Confidence
The impact of weight loss on your confidence is generally a positive one. Being overweight can undermine your self-confidence, because you generally don't like what you see in the mirror and can find it difficult to find stylish clothes that flatter your figure. You may also be at the receiving end of criticism about your weight, which leaves you deeply unhappy and can influence your body image and the attitude you have towards food, exercise and weight. Losing weight can therefore give your confidence a boost, as you can no longer be defined primarily by your size.
You no longer have to worry about being bullied about your weight or being advised to shed a few pounds and, indeed, you are likely to receive compliments for your weight loss. This can really increase your confidence, because you start to realise what a huge accomplishment it is to lose weight and that all your efforts are being recognised by other people. When you feel this good, it seems much easier to find the motivation to continue with your weight loss, but, unfortunately, this can sometimes encourage you to take things too far.
When this happens, it won't be compliments that you receive, but rather concerned inquiries into the state of your health and questions about whether you have lost too much weight. In response, you may continue down the path of weight loss to the extent that you end up developing an eating disorder or you may snap out of it and go back to a more normal relationship with food. You may find it difficult to keep the weight off when you feel that there is so much pressure to stay slim, but not too slim, and that everyone is looking at you all the time.
Consequently, the confidence you initially got from losing weight starts to dissipate. After losing weight, you can enjoy shopping for clothes and making the most of your appearance, as well as being complimented on your weight loss, but the buzz soon wears off. Eventually, you are faced with having to keep the weight off by yourself, without anyone there to motivate you. You may feel more confident than you did when you were overweight, but there is always a worry that you could end up regaining the weight.
Losing weight might help you to feel more confident within yourself, but it is not a total solution to your confidence issues. If you've been overweight for a long time, it takes awhile to adjust to your new body and to relate to people differently, as you are no longer judged solely for your size. You may feel more confident in social situations than before, but losing weight doesn't automatically mean you're going to turn into a super-confident person overnight.
You no longer have to worry about being bullied about your weight or being advised to shed a few pounds and, indeed, you are likely to receive compliments for your weight loss. This can really increase your confidence, because you start to realise what a huge accomplishment it is to lose weight and that all your efforts are being recognised by other people. When you feel this good, it seems much easier to find the motivation to continue with your weight loss, but, unfortunately, this can sometimes encourage you to take things too far.
When this happens, it won't be compliments that you receive, but rather concerned inquiries into the state of your health and questions about whether you have lost too much weight. In response, you may continue down the path of weight loss to the extent that you end up developing an eating disorder or you may snap out of it and go back to a more normal relationship with food. You may find it difficult to keep the weight off when you feel that there is so much pressure to stay slim, but not too slim, and that everyone is looking at you all the time.
Consequently, the confidence you initially got from losing weight starts to dissipate. After losing weight, you can enjoy shopping for clothes and making the most of your appearance, as well as being complimented on your weight loss, but the buzz soon wears off. Eventually, you are faced with having to keep the weight off by yourself, without anyone there to motivate you. You may feel more confident than you did when you were overweight, but there is always a worry that you could end up regaining the weight.
Losing weight might help you to feel more confident within yourself, but it is not a total solution to your confidence issues. If you've been overweight for a long time, it takes awhile to adjust to your new body and to relate to people differently, as you are no longer judged solely for your size. You may feel more confident in social situations than before, but losing weight doesn't automatically mean you're going to turn into a super-confident person overnight.
Why Being Overweight Can Erode Your Confidence
It is perhaps not being overweight that erodes your confidence, as much as the way people treat you because of your size. When you're overweight it seems that many people believe that you are a legitimate target for abuse and do not hesitate to let you know what they think about 'people like you'. Being told constantly that you're fat and ugly doesn't exactly help your confidence and usually just makes you withdraw into yourself, although some people play up to their fat 'persona', making jokes about themselves before anyone else has a chance to.
These individuals may seem as though they epitomise confidence and self-acceptance, when the reality is often somewhat different. Self-deprecation may be in your nature, but when you're completely defined by your weight it becomes an issue that is increasingly difficult to escape. As far as you're concerned other people think of you as the fat, funny, cuddly one, rather than as an intelligent, attractive, sensual being. You may decide to lose weight, but even then you can struggle to shake-off the fat label, so that after losing weight you still lack confidence.
Even though you know you shouldn't worry what anyone else thinks, since many of them won't know what you're like as a person, anyway, this isn't always easy to do. Humans are social creatures and so you want to fit in with your peers and to be accepted by everyone, something which being overweight can make more difficult. When you're conscious of your size, you may avoid social situations because you're constantly worried that someone is going to make nasty remarks about your size and that the embarrassment and shame will be too overwhelming.
Avoiding the company of others only makes you feel worse, though, because this is when you start to feel lonely and what do you do when you're down and alone? The chances are you eat. Although you might feel better whilst you're eating, you have to stop at some point and then you're just left with feelings of guilt and shame. Plus, you know that bingeing on junk food all the time is only going to make it harder for you to control your weight. All of this only erodes your confidence further, especially if you continue to put on weight.
The heavier you are, the harder it becomes to find clothes that flatter figure; not that you ever really like the way you look, anyway. You hate seeing your reflection in the mirror and having pictures taken of yourself because of your size. You may find it harder to move about, because you get tired and out of breath so easily and even doing everyday, normal things like going to the shops becomes a challenge. Clearly, it is harder to enjoy life as much as you should when your weight is holding you back from doing what you want to do.
Other people's perceptions of you definitely has an impact on your confidence levels, sometimes even contributing to your weight problem. However, there are real downsides to being overweight that also undermine your confidence and make it impossible to live life to the fullest. Sometimes, when your weight has become a significant problem in your life, the only sensible option is to try to lose weight for your own sake. This won't automatically make you more confident, but at least it will be more difficult for people to attack you because of your weight.
These individuals may seem as though they epitomise confidence and self-acceptance, when the reality is often somewhat different. Self-deprecation may be in your nature, but when you're completely defined by your weight it becomes an issue that is increasingly difficult to escape. As far as you're concerned other people think of you as the fat, funny, cuddly one, rather than as an intelligent, attractive, sensual being. You may decide to lose weight, but even then you can struggle to shake-off the fat label, so that after losing weight you still lack confidence.
Even though you know you shouldn't worry what anyone else thinks, since many of them won't know what you're like as a person, anyway, this isn't always easy to do. Humans are social creatures and so you want to fit in with your peers and to be accepted by everyone, something which being overweight can make more difficult. When you're conscious of your size, you may avoid social situations because you're constantly worried that someone is going to make nasty remarks about your size and that the embarrassment and shame will be too overwhelming.
Avoiding the company of others only makes you feel worse, though, because this is when you start to feel lonely and what do you do when you're down and alone? The chances are you eat. Although you might feel better whilst you're eating, you have to stop at some point and then you're just left with feelings of guilt and shame. Plus, you know that bingeing on junk food all the time is only going to make it harder for you to control your weight. All of this only erodes your confidence further, especially if you continue to put on weight.
The heavier you are, the harder it becomes to find clothes that flatter figure; not that you ever really like the way you look, anyway. You hate seeing your reflection in the mirror and having pictures taken of yourself because of your size. You may find it harder to move about, because you get tired and out of breath so easily and even doing everyday, normal things like going to the shops becomes a challenge. Clearly, it is harder to enjoy life as much as you should when your weight is holding you back from doing what you want to do.
Other people's perceptions of you definitely has an impact on your confidence levels, sometimes even contributing to your weight problem. However, there are real downsides to being overweight that also undermine your confidence and make it impossible to live life to the fullest. Sometimes, when your weight has become a significant problem in your life, the only sensible option is to try to lose weight for your own sake. This won't automatically make you more confident, but at least it will be more difficult for people to attack you because of your weight.
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