Women are particularly susceptible to negativity towards their bodies, due to the importance with which the female appearance is perceived to have in our society. In order for women to 'succeed' in their relationships, career, and life in general there is a certain amount of expectation for women to look 'good'. Looking 'good' seems to depend on being slim with curves in all the right places, wearing fashionable clothes, having a flattering hairstyle, and making the most of their face using make-up. Any woman who doesn't conform to this readily-accepted conception of beauty, where there is little room for diversity, can end up despising their body, feeling that they can never match up to what society wants from them.
However, women are their own worst enemies, since the reality is that whatever you look like, there are always other people who find you attractive. What is less attractive, though, is when you become so preoccupied with a supposed flaw that you drive everyone around you mad by fixating on it. They might not even recognise it as being a problem, but if it is something which drains your confidence it can impact upon your relationships. It is therefore not so much your appearance which can affect your interaction with other people, but your lack of confidence as a result of obsessing over some aspect of your body.
You therefore need to learn to embrace what makes you unique or find a way of altering the situation if it makes you unhappy. If you are overweight and believe that you would feel healthier and happier after losing weight it is in your power to change things. The chances are that losing weight will help boost your self-esteem, but you should be realistic about what you want to achieve, rather than aiming to be as skinny as a catwalk model. There are people who find larger women attractive, but it is how you feel about yourself that matters, and so if you're not comfortable with your weight you should do something about it.
The situation is slightly different if you have an area of your body that you dislike but are unable to change without surgery. Perhaps you have a crooked nose, or don't feel that your breasts are large enough. Surgery has become a more accessible option for increasing numbers of people, and so it could be something to consider. Ideally, though, you would be able to look at the bigger picture and see that your looks are only one part of you, and your 'flaw' only a small feature of your appearance. However, if it is an issue that has long affected your life, drawing negative comments from other people, it can be difficult to avoid thinking about how you would like to change yourself.
You therefore need to recognise the aspects of yourself that you like, whether they relate to your physical self or your personality and character, rather than continually focusing on the negative. How you feel about your body relates more to the social conditioning you have received than any intrinsic feelings about whether you are attractive or not. When a certain ideal of beauty is propagated it is not surprising that so many women feel that they fall short of this standard, whilst how other people treat them can also influence how they see themselves. The bullying experienced as children can affect some people well into their adulthood and shape how they perceive their bodies, so that even if there is nothing wrong with them they can't help but loathe themselves.
If you are one of these people you need to cast aside the past and focus on the here-and-now. There are some things which you can't change, and so should concentrate on the things that can make a difference. You should eat healthier, exercise regularly, wear clothes that flatter you, and make the most of yourself so that you feel confident in yourself. It shouldn't matter what others think of you if you are happy with who you are.
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