There is never a good time to end a relationship, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and end it for the sake of your own mental well-being. Of course, there may be a difference between ending a brief fling with someone you met on holiday and deciding to divorce your husband of over 30 years, but at the end of the day you still have to reach a decision. Often, it's easier to simply drift along in a relationship, because it means you don't have to do anything. Change can be a scary prospect, and so it's easier to stay in a particular situation, because you can't predict what will happen if you finally face up to the fact you are not happy being in your present relationship.
Usually, there comes a point in your life when you start to re-evaluate your goals and think about what it is you want from life. There are a variety of options to choose from, whether you want to get married and have kids; focus on your career; move out of the fast-paced city environment or leave behind laid-back country life. It might be that you have started taking evening classes or taken up a hobby that has enabled you to interact with a different set of people. Nobody stays exactly the same and the bond you once had with your partner may change over time if you don't communicate and end up drifting apart. You may find that you simply want different things.
It may be the case that the love is no longer there. Love is unquantifiable and it is hard to explain exactly what it is, but when you're no longer in love it can be difficult to tolerate the imperfections that, at one time, you found endearing. This can lead to silly arguments, because you end up venting your frustrations and taking it out on someone who may not have a clue what is going on in your mind. When you're not feeling content with the person you go home to in the evenings, it might be tempting to look elsewhere for comfort. Everyone wants to feel wanted and there is a degree of excitement associated with starting an affair and getting to know someone without having to commit yourself one way or the other.
Eventually, though, there reaches a point where the arguments are increasingly frequent or your affair becomes more serious and you have to decide whether the relationship you're in is really worth working on, or whether you would be better off on your own or with someone else. Obviously, certain factors can complicate matters, especially if you have children and a house together. In the past, couples would often stay together for the sake of the children, but even though that sounds sensible, in theory; the reality is that both individuals can end up miserable, which can actually have a negative impact on kids. Ultimately, you have to decide what it is you want from life and whether your partner is the person you want to share life experiences with or whether you would be happier removing yourself from the situation and entering a different one.
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Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Sunday, 29 December 2013
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
Why do Some Women Jump from Relationship to Relationship?
It seems that there are some women out there who are unable to last two minutes without jumping into another relationship. It is as if they cannot operate unless they are one of a couple, although this hardly seems healthy. Sometimes, it is good to remain single for awhile, especially after coming out of a long-term relationship, so that you can re-assess your priorities and reflect on what you want from life. When you're in a relationship, you can often find your own goals and ambitions are put on the back burner, and so being single gives you an opportunity to focus on yourself.
You therefore have to question the wisdom of women who go from one relationship to the next with very little gap in between. There are women who dump one boyfriend, because another man has shown them attention and they think that they're missing out on something. The grass may appear greener on the other side, but often these women find themselves just as dissatisfied with their new relationship as they were with their previous ones. Consequently, they look for someone else to fill a gap in their lives, as if being in a relationship is going to complete them.
If you need to be in a relationship to feel complete, you're obviously missing something. There is more to life than going out with someone. It might be exciting getting to know someone in the beginning, and you get hooked on the flattery and sexual energy that exists at the start of a relationship. Ultimately, though, what seems exciting will eventually become mundane and although hopping from one relationship to another will give you a temporary thrill, this situation can hardly go on forever. If you are dissatisfied with something in your life, being in a relationship isn't going to alter that fact.
In some cases it is understandable why women jump from one relationship straight into another, because being on your own can be lonely. If you've been used to having someone waiting for you at home when you get back from work and someone who you can tell anything to, finding yourself without a partner can be rather traumatic. You want the closeness you had in your previous relationship and so you seek it out in other people. However, if you're feeling desperately lonely, it is very easy to end up making rash decisions which turn out to be the wrong ones in the long run.
When you're in an emotionally vulnerable state, you may not spend too long contemplating the consequences of your actions and so you could find yourself drifting from one relationship to another. Although being on your own can be tough, especially if you're the type of person who needs to feel loved and are anxious about being alone, sometimes you have to give yourself a break and really think about what it is you want, rather than looking for something you're not going to find in yet another relationship.
You therefore have to question the wisdom of women who go from one relationship to the next with very little gap in between. There are women who dump one boyfriend, because another man has shown them attention and they think that they're missing out on something. The grass may appear greener on the other side, but often these women find themselves just as dissatisfied with their new relationship as they were with their previous ones. Consequently, they look for someone else to fill a gap in their lives, as if being in a relationship is going to complete them.
If you need to be in a relationship to feel complete, you're obviously missing something. There is more to life than going out with someone. It might be exciting getting to know someone in the beginning, and you get hooked on the flattery and sexual energy that exists at the start of a relationship. Ultimately, though, what seems exciting will eventually become mundane and although hopping from one relationship to another will give you a temporary thrill, this situation can hardly go on forever. If you are dissatisfied with something in your life, being in a relationship isn't going to alter that fact.
In some cases it is understandable why women jump from one relationship straight into another, because being on your own can be lonely. If you've been used to having someone waiting for you at home when you get back from work and someone who you can tell anything to, finding yourself without a partner can be rather traumatic. You want the closeness you had in your previous relationship and so you seek it out in other people. However, if you're feeling desperately lonely, it is very easy to end up making rash decisions which turn out to be the wrong ones in the long run.
When you're in an emotionally vulnerable state, you may not spend too long contemplating the consequences of your actions and so you could find yourself drifting from one relationship to another. Although being on your own can be tough, especially if you're the type of person who needs to feel loved and are anxious about being alone, sometimes you have to give yourself a break and really think about what it is you want, rather than looking for something you're not going to find in yet another relationship.
Monday, 2 December 2013
How Being in a Relationship Could Affect Your Weight
Weight gain is obviously the result of consuming more calories than you burn, just as losing weight is the result of consuming fewer calories than you burn. Consequently, you may wonder how being in a relationship could have any impact on your weight. However, it is possible that your calorie consumption could be influenced by being in a relationship, since entering into a relationship may lead you to change your habits and it can also affect your emotional state. Many people find that they gain weight when they are in a relationship, whether the relationship is a happy one or not, because of how they feel about themselves.
If you're happy in your relationship and feel comfortable being with your partner, you may find that you stop worrying so much about going to the gym and eating healthily. If your partner isn't bothered when you gain a few pounds it is much easier to simply eat what your partner eats, regardless of your calorie requirements. You enjoy each other's company and you're not trying to attract someone new. You're loved and valued as you are, so bad habits creep up on you and you find yourself gaining weight. This probably won't pose a problem, though, unless your weight spirals out of control.
Indeed, if you find yourself stuck in a relationship which leaves you feeling miserable, you could find yourself turning to food for comfort, as so many people do. If your partner is controlling and makes you feel worthless, you may retaliate by eating more. You stop caring about your appearance, because your self-esteem has reached such a low point and so you may try to ignore the weight you've gained. It takes a lot of strength to leave a relationship when you have such little self-worth, but it is only when you can value yourself that you will be able to get back in control of your weight and your life.
Sometimes, it is the end of a relationship which affects your weight. If you have been in a happy and loving relationship, it can come as quite a shock when it ends. You may find that you lose your appetite because you feel miserable and have no inclination to eat. Alternatively, you may consciously decide to change your eating habits so that you can lose weight for your own sake and increase your confidence. There is always the chance that you will go the other way and turn to food to cheer you up, in which case you could start to pile on the pounds.
Overall, then, it is pretty clear that being in a relationship can affect your state of mind which, in turn, can affect your weight. It depends on the type of relationship you are in and the emotional attachment you have with food as to which way your weight goes. Plus, the time you dedicate to exercise will also affect whether you gain weight or not over the course of a relationship. There are also unavoidable instances of weight gain which can happen during a relationship, such as if you decide to have a baby. It is obviously up to you to determine whether the relationship you're in is a healthy one, so that you can make the right choices for you.
If you're happy in your relationship and feel comfortable being with your partner, you may find that you stop worrying so much about going to the gym and eating healthily. If your partner isn't bothered when you gain a few pounds it is much easier to simply eat what your partner eats, regardless of your calorie requirements. You enjoy each other's company and you're not trying to attract someone new. You're loved and valued as you are, so bad habits creep up on you and you find yourself gaining weight. This probably won't pose a problem, though, unless your weight spirals out of control.
Indeed, if you find yourself stuck in a relationship which leaves you feeling miserable, you could find yourself turning to food for comfort, as so many people do. If your partner is controlling and makes you feel worthless, you may retaliate by eating more. You stop caring about your appearance, because your self-esteem has reached such a low point and so you may try to ignore the weight you've gained. It takes a lot of strength to leave a relationship when you have such little self-worth, but it is only when you can value yourself that you will be able to get back in control of your weight and your life.
Sometimes, it is the end of a relationship which affects your weight. If you have been in a happy and loving relationship, it can come as quite a shock when it ends. You may find that you lose your appetite because you feel miserable and have no inclination to eat. Alternatively, you may consciously decide to change your eating habits so that you can lose weight for your own sake and increase your confidence. There is always the chance that you will go the other way and turn to food to cheer you up, in which case you could start to pile on the pounds.
Overall, then, it is pretty clear that being in a relationship can affect your state of mind which, in turn, can affect your weight. It depends on the type of relationship you are in and the emotional attachment you have with food as to which way your weight goes. Plus, the time you dedicate to exercise will also affect whether you gain weight or not over the course of a relationship. There are also unavoidable instances of weight gain which can happen during a relationship, such as if you decide to have a baby. It is obviously up to you to determine whether the relationship you're in is a healthy one, so that you can make the right choices for you.
Saturday, 30 November 2013
The Importance of Trust in a Relationship
The importance of trust in a relationship cannot be overstated. Whether the relationship concerned involves friendship, kinship or romance, without trust it is difficult to form a meaningful bond with another human being. If you do not believe what your lover or friend is telling you and think that there is a chance you could get hurt, as a result, this can affect your ability to form and sustain relationships with other people. You may be less open to establishing new relationships and getting close to people, which can affect your self-esteem.
The earliest relationship you have tends to be the one you have with your parents. They are the ones who instil in you certain values and who you look to for advice and support. Not all parents are there for their children, though, and if you are let down when you are young, it may affect your ability to form relationships as an adult. There are parents who abuse their children – emotionally and physically – and have no qualms about lying to their children if it benefits them in any way. Even when you're treated badly by your parents, you want to believe that you can trust them when you know that the parent-child relationship is so important.
Then there are your friends – the people you are supposed to be able to confide in with your problems. However, they can let you down, too. You may believe that they care about you, but later discover that they have been talking about you behind your back, thus undermining your trust. Perhaps your lack of trust comes as a result of financial issues – such as lending a friend money and never getting it back again – or romantic reasons – such as a friend deciding to go out with the person you're supposed to be seeing.
Trust is also essential when you decide to pursue a romantic relationship, because if you are unable to trust the person you're dating or even married to, it becomes difficult to continue on with the relationship. If you're worried your spouse is going to cheat on you every time he leaves the house or that he is going to gamble your savings away or make a series of ridiculous decisions without consulting you, it is evident that you are in the wrong relationship. Trust provides the foundation for a lasting relationship and so if you do not trust the person you're with, either you have to look at the person you're with or look inside yourself and see what needs to be changed.
The same applies to the other relationships in your life. If you don't trust certain people, it is probably because you have been let down in the past by them or by others, thus affecting your attitude towards relationships. It can be difficult to trust people, anyway, but when you have reason to believe you're going to be betrayed in some way, it is not really surprising if you shy away from relationships.
The earliest relationship you have tends to be the one you have with your parents. They are the ones who instil in you certain values and who you look to for advice and support. Not all parents are there for their children, though, and if you are let down when you are young, it may affect your ability to form relationships as an adult. There are parents who abuse their children – emotionally and physically – and have no qualms about lying to their children if it benefits them in any way. Even when you're treated badly by your parents, you want to believe that you can trust them when you know that the parent-child relationship is so important.
Then there are your friends – the people you are supposed to be able to confide in with your problems. However, they can let you down, too. You may believe that they care about you, but later discover that they have been talking about you behind your back, thus undermining your trust. Perhaps your lack of trust comes as a result of financial issues – such as lending a friend money and never getting it back again – or romantic reasons – such as a friend deciding to go out with the person you're supposed to be seeing.
Trust is also essential when you decide to pursue a romantic relationship, because if you are unable to trust the person you're dating or even married to, it becomes difficult to continue on with the relationship. If you're worried your spouse is going to cheat on you every time he leaves the house or that he is going to gamble your savings away or make a series of ridiculous decisions without consulting you, it is evident that you are in the wrong relationship. Trust provides the foundation for a lasting relationship and so if you do not trust the person you're with, either you have to look at the person you're with or look inside yourself and see what needs to be changed.
The same applies to the other relationships in your life. If you don't trust certain people, it is probably because you have been let down in the past by them or by others, thus affecting your attitude towards relationships. It can be difficult to trust people, anyway, but when you have reason to believe you're going to be betrayed in some way, it is not really surprising if you shy away from relationships.
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