The Dangers of Building Online Relationships

The Internet is a wonderful invention that has connected people from all over the world. You frequently read of couples who have got together after connecting online and it gives you hope that maybe somewhere out there you will find the partner of your dreams. The trouble is that online relationships are very different from real-life ones. The Internet is a fantastic way to get to know someone, but, at the same time, you have to be conscious of the fact that the person you’re talking to could be misleading you in some way.

Unfortunately, it is so much easier to create an online persona that differs from the person you are in real life. Of course, if you have any intention of meeting the person you’re chatting to online, then there is very little point posting a picture of someone who looks like a supermodel when you’re actually short and fat! This doesn’t seem to stop some people, but it is pointless, because you want to know that the person you’re talking to is who they say they are. Thus, if you do meet someone you’ve been chatting to online and find out they look very different from their picture, you may start to wonder what other lies they have been telling.

Online relationships can give you some degree of fulfilment, but most people only enter into them on the basis that one day they will meet up with the person they’re chatting to. However, just because you want to get to know someone and eventually meet up with them, that doesn’t mean they have the same objectives. They may simply want to engage in sex talk with you or get you to like them, so that they can extract details about your personal life from you and try to get money out of you. When you feel there is a real connection between you and the person you’re talking to online, it’s easy to get carried away and believe that you’re ‘in love’, but is it really possible to fall in love with someone you’ve never met before?

Ultimately, online dating and friendship sites have facilitated the creation of relationships across the land and enabled people who may never otherwise have met to discover each other. However, at the end of the day, there has to be clarity about what each person wants and a willingness to take the relationship offline on the part of both people. Honesty is also important, as is trust. Although there needs to be a degree of trust, you also have to be aware of the fact that people do lie and that the person you think you’re getting may not be what you actually get.

This happens in real life, as well, though. Even if you get together with someone you met at work, it doesn’t mean they’re not hiding something either. It’s just that with online relationships you have to be more acutely aware of the dangers, because it is so easy to be open about your feelings and emotions. Consequently, even though to some people online relationships are not ‘proper’ relationships, there is still the chance that you could be left feeling used, abandoned and hurt by someone who you thought cared for you, which is always painful, regardless of how you met.

Are Online Relationships Worth Investing in?

It is amazing how much time and emotional energy you can invest in an online relationship and you have to wonder, is it really worth it? Of course, different people want different things from their online relationships. For some individuals, connecting online is a precursor to meeting offline and building a proper, real-life relationship. Other individuals believe they get enough fulfilment from online relationships and seem to live their whole lives on the Internet. This definitely seems less healthy in that no matter how strong a relationship can seem online, you don’t really know who you’re talking to or if you’re likely to have any real-life chemistry.

The trouble is that no matter how honest you are about yourself, it is obviously easier to highlight certain character traits and ignore others, even if it is at unconscious level. When you’re online, you may feel that you can tell the other person anything and everything, and do so, but this tends not to be the case when you meet for real. Just because you ‘click’ online does not mean that there will be the same chemistry when you meet face-to-face and this can ultimately lead to disappointment, especially if you have been exchanging emails and chatting via instant messenger for a long time. Of course, this isn’t going to be a problem if you never intend to meet.

However, you have to bear in mind that whilst you may be happy keeping a relationship online, exchanging friendly messages and perhaps flirting a little, the other person may want something more. It is easy to get caught up in the moment of finding someone who really seems to understand you and who appears to have a similar outlook on the world and the same kind of interests, but this sort of relationship is not the same as one where you see each other every day and interact in person. Online relationships are not a waste of time if you feel you get something out of them. If you enjoy the companionship you get, then who cares if it is only online?

After all, it isn’t always practical to meet. If you live hundreds of miles away, it isn’t as easy as just arranging to have a quick coffee, and so you can find yourself getting to know someone really well online and growing closer, despite the distance. At the end of the day, though, it is only an online relationship and there are those who will try to belittle it and emphasise how the person you think you’re really close to could in fact be an imposter. Indeed, it is worth bearing in mind that not everyone is who they say they are online, but that shouldn’t stop you using the Internet to connect with people and from building online relationships. It may not be healthy to live your life completely online, but there is nothing wrong with online relationships if they make you happy.

Are Online Relationships a Waste of Time?

The Internet has made it so much easier to connect with people, especially for those who aren't particularly confident in social situations or who have busy lives and don't have the time to meet new people. Online you are able to create a more confident, likeable persona and interact with people who have similar interests and beliefs as you. There are dating and friendship sites, as well as chat rooms and forums. It only takes one exchange of messages between you and another person for you to find yourself making friends and potentially more. However, is it really worth investing your time into such relationships?

The answer depends on what you expect to get out of your online relationships. Do you accumulate online 'friends' for the purpose of extending your business contacts – finding people with similar interests in order to promote a particular product or service? Do you try to make friends with people so that you have something other than junk mail to read when you open your inbox? Perhaps you like getting to know people and genuinely get some satisfaction from learning about what people do with their time. It could be that you want more than friendship and hope to develop the relationship offline as well as on.

You also have to consider what the other person concerned wants. You may really enjoy exchanging messages with someone and really want to meet up in person, only to find out that the other person just wants to exchange dirty messages and have a bit of online fun. There is no point building your hopes up that the relationship could become something more if it's not what the other person wants. Thus, there is a danger that you could get too involved with someone and discover that the relationship means more to you than the person you exchange messages with. You could end up wasting months of your time interacting with someone, when you could have been communicating with someone else more serious about meeting up.

It is also important to be aware that not everyone is who they say they are online. Of course, the same can be said of people in 'real' life, too; not everyone tells the truth. However, the Internet gives you a sense of anonymity that you don't get in person, and it becomes easier to exaggerate a little bit here and tell a few white lies there, so that you think you know someone when you really don't have a clue. You build them up in your mind and when you finally do meet, you're disappointed.

Overall, if you spend a lot of time at the computer and just want an online companion to exchange messages with, then you can get quite a lot out of online relationships. However, ultimately, online relationships are never quite as satisfying as the real thing, and so there may come a point where you have to decide whether to bring your online relationship offline. Sometimes, this isn't always possible, though, especially when the person you're corresponding with lives so far away. Consequently, it may be worth weighing up whether your online relationship really means enough to you to keep investing so much time and energy into it when it may all lead to nothing.