It might be tough, but sometimes change can actually be good for you. Thus, to be able to embrace change you have to stay positive. This can sometimes be easier said than done, though, as even if you find yourself stuck in a rut, you may simply convince yourself that it could be worse, so that you don't bother to do anything about it. If you hate your job or are stuck in an unhappy relationship you just tell yourself that at least you have a job and a partner, even though there could be better options out there for you. There are so many choices these days that you can feel somewhat overwhelmed, but it is surely better to try something different, even if there is a chance it may not work out how you planned than to simply accept a situation that makes you miserable.
Clearly, you cannot ignore the possibility that changing an aspect of your life could have unintended consequences that may not always be beneficial. Changing jobs may help you to achieve greater job satisfaction and to earn more money, but you may find yourself working longer hours, which may have a detrimental impact on your family life. It may be that you decide to change your living arrangements and move to a different town. This can lead to new work and social opportunities, but it also could also take its toll on the people you leave behind and affect your ability to stay in contact with friends and family. Sometimes, it can be helpful to weigh up the pros and cons of making a change and to decide whether it's really worth it.
In most cases, if you're contemplating making a significant change in your life, it means that there is something you're unhappy with. If you were completely happy with your body, your job, your social life and your relationship status, you wouldn't spend as much time considering all the other potential options out there. If you find yourself daydreaming about what could be on a regular basis, because you are so dissatisfied with real life, then you're the only one who can change it. There's no point waiting for someone to change your life for you. It might be tempting to wait and wait to see if something random happens to alter your life, but you could be waiting for a very long time.
You may want to believe that you're going to bump into the love of your life whilst doing your shopping, but if you are interested in starting a relationship with someone you are better off taking up a hobby or joining an online dating service and putting yourself out there than waiting around, hoping such a random event will occur. It is better to be proactive in trying to change your life rather than waiting around, bored but hopeful. You need to face up to the fact that it is up to you to take control of your own life. It is within you to take action and to change whichever aspects of your life you are unhappy with. Change can be scary, but it can also lead to wonderful experiences, relationships and events which you would otherwise miss out on.
Friday, 10 January 2014
Friday, 3 January 2014
Staying Positive in a Negative World
It's not easy staying positive when the world is such a negative place to be. The news is full of stories about rapes, robberies, beatings and murders. The rich get richer whilst the poor get poorer and those in charge make the laws which ensure wealth remains in the hands of a select few. As a youngster you're told that anyone can succeed; that as long as you work hard you can achieve whatever you want. However, those with the right connections and money can help you get into the right schools and set you up in the right jobs. The chances are you will end up stuck in a dead-end occupation like so many others out there and sometimes you wonder, what is the point?
That's the trouble - you spend so many hours of your life working and often the remuneration is nothing to write home about. It can feel like you're simply wasting the days, months and years of your life, simply working to be able to pay essential bills, such as the mortgage, utilities and food. If you're lucky, you will have some money left over to spend doing activities you enjoy, although even if you have the money, you may not have the time. There has to be more to life than work, though, and so you need to make time to do the things you enjoy, as otherwise you can end up stuck in a rut. It can also help to have people in your life whose company you enjoy and who you are able to confide in.
Keeping active, doing activities you enjoy and being with people you like can help you feel better about yourself and life in general, but let's face it; some people appear to revel in their misery. They enjoy whingeing about politicians and how everything is going wrong with the country. Some people are better able to cope with the bad things that crop up in life than others who simply want to curl up in a ball and avoid dealing with the issues that are making life difficult. It's not as if you have much control over whether you're an optimist or a pessimist, so you simply have to do the best you can with what you've got and remind yourself that nobody wants to be around someone who's negative all the time.
Well, of course, other pessimists are probably more likely to put up with you, but it's a bit depressing surrounding yourself with negative people and talking about negative topics all the time. Sometimes, it's good to just have a laugh and be silly, rather than dwelling on all the serious problems happening, whether on a global scale or something more personal. Even if you have a tendency to be negative, it is always worth trying to look on the bright side of life, rather than constantly focusing on what has gone wrong in the past and what could go wrong in the future. Life is too short and if you let negativity overwhelm you, there is a possibility you will miss out on the many opportunities that life has to offer.
That's the trouble - you spend so many hours of your life working and often the remuneration is nothing to write home about. It can feel like you're simply wasting the days, months and years of your life, simply working to be able to pay essential bills, such as the mortgage, utilities and food. If you're lucky, you will have some money left over to spend doing activities you enjoy, although even if you have the money, you may not have the time. There has to be more to life than work, though, and so you need to make time to do the things you enjoy, as otherwise you can end up stuck in a rut. It can also help to have people in your life whose company you enjoy and who you are able to confide in.
Keeping active, doing activities you enjoy and being with people you like can help you feel better about yourself and life in general, but let's face it; some people appear to revel in their misery. They enjoy whingeing about politicians and how everything is going wrong with the country. Some people are better able to cope with the bad things that crop up in life than others who simply want to curl up in a ball and avoid dealing with the issues that are making life difficult. It's not as if you have much control over whether you're an optimist or a pessimist, so you simply have to do the best you can with what you've got and remind yourself that nobody wants to be around someone who's negative all the time.
Well, of course, other pessimists are probably more likely to put up with you, but it's a bit depressing surrounding yourself with negative people and talking about negative topics all the time. Sometimes, it's good to just have a laugh and be silly, rather than dwelling on all the serious problems happening, whether on a global scale or something more personal. Even if you have a tendency to be negative, it is always worth trying to look on the bright side of life, rather than constantly focusing on what has gone wrong in the past and what could go wrong in the future. Life is too short and if you let negativity overwhelm you, there is a possibility you will miss out on the many opportunities that life has to offer.
Sunday, 29 December 2013
When Should You End a Relationship?
There is never a good time to end a relationship, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and end it for the sake of your own mental well-being. Of course, there may be a difference between ending a brief fling with someone you met on holiday and deciding to divorce your husband of over 30 years, but at the end of the day you still have to reach a decision. Often, it's easier to simply drift along in a relationship, because it means you don't have to do anything. Change can be a scary prospect, and so it's easier to stay in a particular situation, because you can't predict what will happen if you finally face up to the fact you are not happy being in your present relationship.
Usually, there comes a point in your life when you start to re-evaluate your goals and think about what it is you want from life. There are a variety of options to choose from, whether you want to get married and have kids; focus on your career; move out of the fast-paced city environment or leave behind laid-back country life. It might be that you have started taking evening classes or taken up a hobby that has enabled you to interact with a different set of people. Nobody stays exactly the same and the bond you once had with your partner may change over time if you don't communicate and end up drifting apart. You may find that you simply want different things.
It may be the case that the love is no longer there. Love is unquantifiable and it is hard to explain exactly what it is, but when you're no longer in love it can be difficult to tolerate the imperfections that, at one time, you found endearing. This can lead to silly arguments, because you end up venting your frustrations and taking it out on someone who may not have a clue what is going on in your mind. When you're not feeling content with the person you go home to in the evenings, it might be tempting to look elsewhere for comfort. Everyone wants to feel wanted and there is a degree of excitement associated with starting an affair and getting to know someone without having to commit yourself one way or the other.
Eventually, though, there reaches a point where the arguments are increasingly frequent or your affair becomes more serious and you have to decide whether the relationship you're in is really worth working on, or whether you would be better off on your own or with someone else. Obviously, certain factors can complicate matters, especially if you have children and a house together. In the past, couples would often stay together for the sake of the children, but even though that sounds sensible, in theory; the reality is that both individuals can end up miserable, which can actually have a negative impact on kids. Ultimately, you have to decide what it is you want from life and whether your partner is the person you want to share life experiences with or whether you would be happier removing yourself from the situation and entering a different one.
Usually, there comes a point in your life when you start to re-evaluate your goals and think about what it is you want from life. There are a variety of options to choose from, whether you want to get married and have kids; focus on your career; move out of the fast-paced city environment or leave behind laid-back country life. It might be that you have started taking evening classes or taken up a hobby that has enabled you to interact with a different set of people. Nobody stays exactly the same and the bond you once had with your partner may change over time if you don't communicate and end up drifting apart. You may find that you simply want different things.
It may be the case that the love is no longer there. Love is unquantifiable and it is hard to explain exactly what it is, but when you're no longer in love it can be difficult to tolerate the imperfections that, at one time, you found endearing. This can lead to silly arguments, because you end up venting your frustrations and taking it out on someone who may not have a clue what is going on in your mind. When you're not feeling content with the person you go home to in the evenings, it might be tempting to look elsewhere for comfort. Everyone wants to feel wanted and there is a degree of excitement associated with starting an affair and getting to know someone without having to commit yourself one way or the other.
Eventually, though, there reaches a point where the arguments are increasingly frequent or your affair becomes more serious and you have to decide whether the relationship you're in is really worth working on, or whether you would be better off on your own or with someone else. Obviously, certain factors can complicate matters, especially if you have children and a house together. In the past, couples would often stay together for the sake of the children, but even though that sounds sensible, in theory; the reality is that both individuals can end up miserable, which can actually have a negative impact on kids. Ultimately, you have to decide what it is you want from life and whether your partner is the person you want to share life experiences with or whether you would be happier removing yourself from the situation and entering a different one.
Friday, 27 December 2013
Why are People Fed up With Politicians?
Why are people fed up with politicians? It's not a difficult question to anwswer is it? They lie, cheat and do whatever they want and the rules that apply to us mere mortals appear not to apply to them. Politicians are supposed to represent the interests of the people who vote for them in the national legislature, but the reality is that they form an elite club and they only seem to care about themselves and others who belong to their set. There may be the occasional idealist, fighting for the working man and woman, but the majority of politicians are more interested in being seen to have power and influence, and using that power to help cement their position at the top of society.
The number of people voting has declined over the years and politicians will point to general apathy. Is it really apathy, though, or just realism? In the UK, the first-past-the-post system means that unless you live in a marginal seat, your vote barely counts for anything. So, you end up with either a Conservative or a Labour government, or on occasion a hung parliament and the need for a coalition. The Liberal Democrats conveniently seem to swing both ways. At the end of the day, who can tell the difference between the parties anyway? They've all moved towards the centre, so that there is very little to distinguish between them, and whoever is in power generally makes a mess of things.
It's all about posturing and grand gestures instead of what would actually make the country a better place to live. Everything worth anything has been privatised in the UK and we're continually told that competition is good; that it benefits the consumer, despite the fact that there is little evidence to support this claim. What can ordinary people do to vent their anger? They can whinge to their friends and family and moan on various social networking sites, but that won't change anything. Of course, they can vote and help to elect another government, yet will that alter anything? It will hardly make a difference. Politicians appear to be devoid of integrity. They simply chase votes, and do whatever they can to annoy the other parties.
Parliament is composed largely of white, middle-aged, privately-educated men who are supposed to represent the views and opinions of an extremely diverse nation. They get paid a large salary and receive other perks, and proclaim that if you want the best you have to pay well. Well, of course, they would say that wouldn't they? Who has decided they are the best, though? So, a politician went to Eton, then Cambridge and fell into a job in politics because his daddy has the right connections. He hasn't had to work his way up and see what it's like to struggle, has he? The chances are that he got where he is because of luck and knowing the right people more than anything else.
Politicians say whatever they can to get elected, then renege on their commitments. They have no sense of shame as they cut people's benefits and denigrate 'scroungers' whilst awarding themselves huge pay rises for turning up and doing the bare minimum of work. Maybe some of them got into politics for the right reasons and wanted to improve their country, but in most cases it seems that they're there for the glory and to help others within their own social circle, rather than the country as a whole. Although people may be fed up with politicians and angry, there don't seem to be any other satisfactory alternatives and a sense of powerlessness means that people, in the UK at least, don't really see a point in trying to change the situation.
The number of people voting has declined over the years and politicians will point to general apathy. Is it really apathy, though, or just realism? In the UK, the first-past-the-post system means that unless you live in a marginal seat, your vote barely counts for anything. So, you end up with either a Conservative or a Labour government, or on occasion a hung parliament and the need for a coalition. The Liberal Democrats conveniently seem to swing both ways. At the end of the day, who can tell the difference between the parties anyway? They've all moved towards the centre, so that there is very little to distinguish between them, and whoever is in power generally makes a mess of things.
It's all about posturing and grand gestures instead of what would actually make the country a better place to live. Everything worth anything has been privatised in the UK and we're continually told that competition is good; that it benefits the consumer, despite the fact that there is little evidence to support this claim. What can ordinary people do to vent their anger? They can whinge to their friends and family and moan on various social networking sites, but that won't change anything. Of course, they can vote and help to elect another government, yet will that alter anything? It will hardly make a difference. Politicians appear to be devoid of integrity. They simply chase votes, and do whatever they can to annoy the other parties.
Parliament is composed largely of white, middle-aged, privately-educated men who are supposed to represent the views and opinions of an extremely diverse nation. They get paid a large salary and receive other perks, and proclaim that if you want the best you have to pay well. Well, of course, they would say that wouldn't they? Who has decided they are the best, though? So, a politician went to Eton, then Cambridge and fell into a job in politics because his daddy has the right connections. He hasn't had to work his way up and see what it's like to struggle, has he? The chances are that he got where he is because of luck and knowing the right people more than anything else.
Politicians say whatever they can to get elected, then renege on their commitments. They have no sense of shame as they cut people's benefits and denigrate 'scroungers' whilst awarding themselves huge pay rises for turning up and doing the bare minimum of work. Maybe some of them got into politics for the right reasons and wanted to improve their country, but in most cases it seems that they're there for the glory and to help others within their own social circle, rather than the country as a whole. Although people may be fed up with politicians and angry, there don't seem to be any other satisfactory alternatives and a sense of powerlessness means that people, in the UK at least, don't really see a point in trying to change the situation.
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
Why Change can be Good
If change is so good for you, why do so many people resist it? Well, change can be good, but it can also be a hassle. Even though you may loathe your job, at least you have security, but if you decided to change your job you have to update your CV, start looking around at the other jobs available and apply to different positions. You might be successful, then have to attend an interview or several and you may even secure a new job, but for all you know you could end up hating that as much as your old job. It is therefore easier to simply accept your situation, even if there is the potential to actually improve your life.
Just look at how many people are unhappy in a relationship, yet they continue to stick with it. Again, it's a case of 'better the devil you know than the devil you don't.' If you leave your partner, you don't know what might happen and that is a scary prospect. Friends may abandon you; you might end up fighting with your former partner over the custody of your pets or children or about who gets the house; you could end up struggling financially. Plus, you could end up alone, and even if you argue with your partner frequently, at least there is someone who's there for you.
There are other changes you can make to your life, such as moving to a different place - whether house, city or country - or changing the way you live your life - avoiding clubbing and alcohol and becoming more health conscious, so that you eat less junk food, exercise regularly and adopt a healthier lifestyle in general. Clearly, moving gives you new and exciting opportunities, as you can meet people, find a different job and improve your prospects. Changing your lifestyle can also have benefits, enabling you to extend your life and feel better in yourself. Yet, to embrace change requires motivation.
Where does this motivation come from? Often the motivation to change comes as a result of an unexpected event. It could be that you're forced to change your lifestyle after suffering from health problems, or to move to a new town because you have lost your job. You may be happy with the job you have, only for a new manager to be appointed who you don't get along with, or your circumstances may change so that you need more money and, thus, a new job. Sometimes, people realise they're stuck in a situation that's making them unhappy and decide to set a date for them to get their act together.
Obviously, many people choose to make New Year's resolutions, because they want to change, but need some kind of impetus. You know you're not alone in wanting to make a change during the New Year, and if you fail, you know there are also others in a similar position to yourself. Change can be good, but finding the motivation to change can be more challenging, especially when you don't know what the outcome will be. Sometimes, it's easier to just stick with the familiar, even if you don't find it to be completely satisfying.
Just look at how many people are unhappy in a relationship, yet they continue to stick with it. Again, it's a case of 'better the devil you know than the devil you don't.' If you leave your partner, you don't know what might happen and that is a scary prospect. Friends may abandon you; you might end up fighting with your former partner over the custody of your pets or children or about who gets the house; you could end up struggling financially. Plus, you could end up alone, and even if you argue with your partner frequently, at least there is someone who's there for you.
There are other changes you can make to your life, such as moving to a different place - whether house, city or country - or changing the way you live your life - avoiding clubbing and alcohol and becoming more health conscious, so that you eat less junk food, exercise regularly and adopt a healthier lifestyle in general. Clearly, moving gives you new and exciting opportunities, as you can meet people, find a different job and improve your prospects. Changing your lifestyle can also have benefits, enabling you to extend your life and feel better in yourself. Yet, to embrace change requires motivation.
Where does this motivation come from? Often the motivation to change comes as a result of an unexpected event. It could be that you're forced to change your lifestyle after suffering from health problems, or to move to a new town because you have lost your job. You may be happy with the job you have, only for a new manager to be appointed who you don't get along with, or your circumstances may change so that you need more money and, thus, a new job. Sometimes, people realise they're stuck in a situation that's making them unhappy and decide to set a date for them to get their act together.
Obviously, many people choose to make New Year's resolutions, because they want to change, but need some kind of impetus. You know you're not alone in wanting to make a change during the New Year, and if you fail, you know there are also others in a similar position to yourself. Change can be good, but finding the motivation to change can be more challenging, especially when you don't know what the outcome will be. Sometimes, it's easier to just stick with the familiar, even if you don't find it to be completely satisfying.
Saturday, 21 December 2013
The Importance of Loving Yourself
Loving yourself has nothing to do with narcissism (in most cases!) It is important to love yourself, because the alternative is to be indifferent or to hate yourself, which clearly isn't beneficial to anyone. If you don't love yourself, what difference does it make what you eat, whether you exercise, how you dress or who you associate with? If you don't care about your well-being, you could end up drinking too much, taking drugs, sleeping around, eating junk food, and engaging in behaviour which could be damaging in the long run. If you don't love yourself, it's hard to project yourself to the rest of the world in the way you want to, which can have a bearing on your self-esteem and confidence levels.
Indeed, if you don't love yourself, this could be because you are suffering from low self-esteem. This can be caused by your interactions with others. If you've been bullied or undermined in some way, especially over a period of time, this can affect the way you see yourself. If someone continually tells you that you're ugly, fat and worthless, there is a chance you will eventually come to believe it, especially if you're a negative person to begin with. Instead of shaking off other people's nasty words, you can find yourself internalising them and engaging in activities which could only exacerbate the problem. For instance, it's not unusual to hear of overweight individuals turning to food for comfort, which can lead to further weight gain.
Ultimately, you only have one body and one mind. It's up to you to look after yourself and you can only do that if you actually care about your own health and well-being. If you have low self-esteem you may convince yourself that you're not worth the effort, but even if you have others in your life who love you, it is impossible to be around people all the time. You can't escape your own mind, though, and so you have to deal with the thoughts and feelings you have every minute of the day. Thus, it's better to love rather than loathe yourself.
Plus, if you want to build relationships with other people, whether platonic or romantic, it definitely helps to love yourself. It's better than looking for affirmation from other people, especially if it is not forthcoming. If you can't love yourself it will be hard for you to accept that anyone else can love you anyway. Loving yourself won't make your life perfect, but it will make it easier to enjoy the highs and deal with the lows that life brings.
Indeed, if you don't love yourself, this could be because you are suffering from low self-esteem. This can be caused by your interactions with others. If you've been bullied or undermined in some way, especially over a period of time, this can affect the way you see yourself. If someone continually tells you that you're ugly, fat and worthless, there is a chance you will eventually come to believe it, especially if you're a negative person to begin with. Instead of shaking off other people's nasty words, you can find yourself internalising them and engaging in activities which could only exacerbate the problem. For instance, it's not unusual to hear of overweight individuals turning to food for comfort, which can lead to further weight gain.
Ultimately, you only have one body and one mind. It's up to you to look after yourself and you can only do that if you actually care about your own health and well-being. If you have low self-esteem you may convince yourself that you're not worth the effort, but even if you have others in your life who love you, it is impossible to be around people all the time. You can't escape your own mind, though, and so you have to deal with the thoughts and feelings you have every minute of the day. Thus, it's better to love rather than loathe yourself.
Plus, if you want to build relationships with other people, whether platonic or romantic, it definitely helps to love yourself. It's better than looking for affirmation from other people, especially if it is not forthcoming. If you can't love yourself it will be hard for you to accept that anyone else can love you anyway. Loving yourself won't make your life perfect, but it will make it easier to enjoy the highs and deal with the lows that life brings.
Thursday, 19 December 2013
Good Reasons to Put Your Phone Down
Not so long ago, it was relatively rare for anyone to own a mobile phone. Everyone remembers those images of eighties' yuppies with giant brick-like contraptions in their hand. However, mobiles really caught on in the nineties as the size of handsets shrunk and their cost came down. During this time, most people looked at mobile phones as being useful in an emergency. If you had a breakdown on the motorway or some kind of accident, you could easily get in contact with someone. It didn't take long to realise the mobile could be used for other purposes, such as texting, though, so that you could now stay in contact with someone without the hassle of actually having to speak. The functionality of phones has continued to improve over the years, and they can do so much more.
Indeed, today's smartphones enable you to listen to music, chat in 'real time,' take pictures and video footage, play games and download an assortment of different programmes and applications. Thus, it isn't unusual to see people walking around in a zombified state, with their mobiles in their hand, texting or playing games. In some ways, this technological leap has been beneficial. After all, it is much easier to interact with other people and to stay in touch. It is easier to order goods and services on the move and to enjoy the entertainment that's on offer, such as music, films and games. Sometimes, it's good to escape during your lunchbreak or on your daily commute by messing around on your phone.
However, it could be said that even though smartphones and more basic kinds of phone enable individuals to stay in touch, people make less effort with people in real life as a result. It's easy to send a text to someone, but what about real-life interaction? At the end of the day, online interaction isn't quite as satisying as the real thing and if you come to rely too heavily on texting as your main form of communication, it may be tougher to adapt to real-life social situations, especially if you're shy to begin with. Owning a phone that does everything means you don't have to look up and if you're shy it may be easier to keep hiding behind your online persona.
You might actually miss out something, because you're so busy looking at your phone that you don't bother to pay attention to how you're feeling. Often, at live gigs, people end up spending their whole time fliming the event, instead of taking the time to appreciate the atmosphere and, ultimately, the images you see on screen are nothing compared to actually being there. It can also be dangerous, because there are people who use their phones when they're walking along or driving and if you're playing with your phone instead of concentrating on what you should be doing, you could walk into other people or walk into the road, and if you're in a car you could end up knocking someone over or off their bike.
Clearly, there are distinct advantages of having a phone that is multi-functional, but there is a real world out there, too. Phones can enhance your life, but if your whole life revolves around them, there is a problem. Whilst in the past, mobiles were for emergency purposes only, so you could contact someone if you were in desperate need; these days it is almost impossible to escape from other people and you're considered odd if you don't have a phone that does everything and choose not to text people every few hours. It isn't always a bad thing to swim against the tide, though!
Indeed, today's smartphones enable you to listen to music, chat in 'real time,' take pictures and video footage, play games and download an assortment of different programmes and applications. Thus, it isn't unusual to see people walking around in a zombified state, with their mobiles in their hand, texting or playing games. In some ways, this technological leap has been beneficial. After all, it is much easier to interact with other people and to stay in touch. It is easier to order goods and services on the move and to enjoy the entertainment that's on offer, such as music, films and games. Sometimes, it's good to escape during your lunchbreak or on your daily commute by messing around on your phone.
However, it could be said that even though smartphones and more basic kinds of phone enable individuals to stay in touch, people make less effort with people in real life as a result. It's easy to send a text to someone, but what about real-life interaction? At the end of the day, online interaction isn't quite as satisying as the real thing and if you come to rely too heavily on texting as your main form of communication, it may be tougher to adapt to real-life social situations, especially if you're shy to begin with. Owning a phone that does everything means you don't have to look up and if you're shy it may be easier to keep hiding behind your online persona.
You might actually miss out something, because you're so busy looking at your phone that you don't bother to pay attention to how you're feeling. Often, at live gigs, people end up spending their whole time fliming the event, instead of taking the time to appreciate the atmosphere and, ultimately, the images you see on screen are nothing compared to actually being there. It can also be dangerous, because there are people who use their phones when they're walking along or driving and if you're playing with your phone instead of concentrating on what you should be doing, you could walk into other people or walk into the road, and if you're in a car you could end up knocking someone over or off their bike.
Clearly, there are distinct advantages of having a phone that is multi-functional, but there is a real world out there, too. Phones can enhance your life, but if your whole life revolves around them, there is a problem. Whilst in the past, mobiles were for emergency purposes only, so you could contact someone if you were in desperate need; these days it is almost impossible to escape from other people and you're considered odd if you don't have a phone that does everything and choose not to text people every few hours. It isn't always a bad thing to swim against the tide, though!
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